A Consistent Man

One of my first thoughts I had after I really gave my life to Christ was 'I need to be consistent'. If I was going to be a true Man of God, I would need to maintain my walk with Him. My main two ideas were consistency and discipline. These are two traits that most people need for their job, their marriage, their kids and so on. But I knew I had to apply it to my walk with God. I had to come up with a way to make it daily and serious. I needed to find a way to separate from the False desires of this world and pursue God. It took a few months of reading books and praying for consistency, when God brought up the idea of Manturity. He presented this to me in such an easy way that it just made too much sense. He provided all the tools and showed me the opportunity for true consistency.

For me, Manturity is my way of reaching out to God everyday. I make it a point to post to Facebook and Twitter everyday, even if it's only one time a day. A few months after I started Manturity, I signed up on Digg and started reading and promoting articles about other Christian men and more. This has become a great learning tool and another way to reach people and spread the good news of how God is working in other peoples lives and around the world. Although I have not been as consistent with Google+, I have found and met a lot of great people on there and they post a wealth of information. I love to see new followers, comments and interaction on the blog and hope to take things to the next level in the new year.

Manturity has been a way to keep my mind on positive things and away from the garbage of society. As much as I hope it helps other people, it is truly a tool that has helped me refocus daily. It has pushed me to find my real desire and write multiple posts about it. God showed has shown me ways to adjust my influence and find my true identity. He continually is providing me with new information and ideas to a point that I have had to start keeping Evernotes so that I do not forget them. As I run into the new year and chase new opportunities and new ideas, I can't wait to see what God has planned. Truly the most important part of all of this consistency is my walk with Him. I know that He is always consistent with me, but the real challenge and goal is to keep Him first and allow Him to Father me.

With a new website planned, an ebook in the works and many new topics. I pray that you have a wonderful new year and are consistent in all that God gives to you.

Happy New Years!

Are you more likely to Love or to Judge? Check out the new post on the Manturity #Blog TWEET THIS!

Pier Pressure

Everyday we have to wake up and face the challenges of the day. Amongst the many topics discussed in the Manturity series of Influence, the challenge to stand up to and face other men is inevitable, at least for me. I work in construction, building commercial buildings, and for the most part men are the workers. These are a unique set of men and personalities that I have to deal with on a day to day basis, it's part of earning that paycheck. If there is one thing I learned about a year ago, it's that I do not have to take on their identity. I do not have involve myself in their immature, senseless and revolving conversations or influence. I can make the choice to walk away or stay and be "part of the group". I know that I can not change these men, but I can be mature in my decisions around them.
I like to think of this as the work pier. Work piers were made to for one reason. To get the men and the material to the ship. They were not built for pleasure, they were not build to look pretty, but they were made to get the job done. They were designed for work. And like most of us, we have to walk that work pier everyday. Is it something we want to do? Probably not, but it is something most of us have to do and do the best we can.

2 Chronicles 15:7 'Be ye strong therefore, and let not your hands be weak; for your work shall be rewarded.

When I am not at work, I get to enjoy the company of good friends and work colleagues. This is a different group of men that I more less choose to be around. They are friends from Church or friends that are my age at work and men of true strength. This is also a unique set of men. We still have to be careful how our friends  influence us, but hopefully that is happening in a positive way. The conversations are generally more interesting, exciting, funny and clean. I know these men on a deeper level and is a sense, know their heart.
Proverbs 15:13 says 'A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance; but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. These are the men that you can share your high and low points with. These are the men that you put your trust into and depend on, these are men of resolution.
This is what I call the pleasure pier. Pleasure piers are made pretty much the same way the work piers are made, but they are built for comfort, enjoyment and rest. This type of pier might get built in a scenic area or might get built for fishing. Either way they are a shelter, a vacation, a getaway from the craziness of life. After a long day, it's nice to get off the work pier and enjoy some time on the pleasure pier.

Proverbs 18:24 says 'A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. 

Some of us are forced to walk the work pier everyday, but don't forget to walk the pleasure pier also. Jesus is such an amazing example of a good friend and fellow brother amongst His disciples. If we are pursuing to be like Christ everyday, than our friends, attitude and life will show it.

How do you find a balance between the work and pleasure pier?

A Call to be Courageous

Have you heard of the new movie coming out called 'Courageous'? The movie will be coming out on September 30th to a theater near you.

This is not your typical Hollywood movie though. The movie is about four Police officers who are focused and confident when it comes to facing danger on the job. But when it comes to leading their families at home in a God-honoring way, they must find their true stength and true courage.

As I was walking around the bookstore yesterday, I also noticed there are some books to go along with the movie. The first book I found was titled 'The Resolution for Men'. I took this book, read the introduction and the first chapter. I had to hold myself back from trying to read it all in a day. The information just in the first few pages was intense and straight to the point. We need men to stand up and Be Courageous.
There is also a book for women titled 'The Resolution for Women'. My wife started reading the book last night and had the same reaction. Intense and to the point.

I would highly recommend planning to watch this movie at the end of this month. Also, check out the books if you can (my wife and I bought both books at 'LifeWay' last night ). Click the links, and SPREAD THE WORD!

2BB4W94MYAHZ

False Desires

I recently read an awesome book titled ‘Desire’, by author John Elderidge. The book is about the journey we must take to find our true desire. The next few blog posts are a small view inside the journey of desire from my perspective.

What would the average man say if you asked him what he desired? A few ideas might be sports, like football or golf. Maybe he would say ‘women’ and give you a full download of what he means and why. Maybe he would say success.  Maybe he would give you a blank look and wonder what in the world you were asking.

But, I wonder what the same man would say if you asked him ‘Are you happy?’ I imagine you would get a strange look, a rude comment or an obvious fake answer. If the word desire is in question, then the word happy has even less meaning.

The two of these questions go hand in hand with each other. The reason men are not happy, is because they are looking for desire in all the wrong places. Men spend their days at work hoping to rise in the food chain. Maybe working two jobs to try to get that “dream” house and affirmation. Men wrap themselves up in sports for weekends on end. Men go from woman to woman looking for that perfect one. They tell stories of their exterior beauty, and then say they got rid of her because she was crazy. These false desires or bad attempts at intimacy go round and round and round. The ‘desires’ are chased until they have lost their luster. Like young love, the initial tingle is gone and you move on to the next thing. The next “big” thing has the same results and you start to wonder about life and if there is even a purpose. Happiness becomes a lost word you hear once in a while from a stranger. The word itself is a stranger.

These false desire are merely addictions, and the Bible referes to them as 'adulterous'. They keep us from knowing our true desires. They keep us from knowing God.

So what are we to desire? How do we find it and make an attempt to understand it?

In the coming posts, we will discuss how to take Desire to the next level.

Please feel free to comment below and add your thoughts.

Language of Respect

Respect is an understanding, an agreement, a behavior, an attitude and more.

Understanding respect is essential. It is necessary in the workplace, in marriages, and in everyday communication with people. When people are placed in charge of us, we must respect them. We must learn what respect means to them and apply those concepts daily. We must apply them in an effort to form a habit out of the process. It will be the best thing to do for yourself, for your career and for your boss. When you say ‘I do’ to your spouse, you are signing up to learn respect. We must learn what respect means to each other and, even more, learn how to apply those particular principles. Since we know ourselves better than anyone, we must be able to openly communicate what our language of respect is to our spouse. This will assist greatly in truly learning to understand each other. Once these points are found, the habit of applying them can begin.

 Since the wife is designed to understand love better, we, as men, must have patience with our wife. It would be a great idea to make an agreement with your wife in regards to learning more about respect. In other words, you both agree to stop conversations when needed, in order to learn each others language of respect. For example, when your wife does something that is disrespectful to you. This can be the time that you stop and default back to the agreement. You can simply say ‘Let’s go back to the agreement. The situation or words spoken came across disrespectful to me.’ This type of agreement allows the situation to not get out of control, because the both of you are going back to the original conversation/ agreement. Any misunderstanding of the situation can be worked out at this point in a calm and understanding way. This same idea can be applied when the husband says something unloving or disrespectful to his wife.

When I referred to the word ‘calm’, I am referring to our behavior. Our behavior or attitude is also large part of respect. Keeping the situations at a calm level allow for better understanding, clearer judgment and true listening. When a situation arises that would call for the ‘agreement’, it is most likely not going to be an easy moment. Something happened that caused some tension or friction. We, as spouses or coworkers, have to be careful not to assume the worst about each other. Assuming the worst will bring about an immediate negative attitude. If we can assume the best, our behavior will stay positive and calmer. The conversation during the discussion will go smoother and the resolution will come quicker. If needed, paraphrase each others comments back to each other to allow for full understanding.

In ending, we all need to understand how to respect each other better. This can be accomplished by being aware of this and agreeing to tell each other when situations come up. And to keep a positive, calm attitude during the process. The benefits of learning each others language of respect can be life changing.

Learn more about 'Love & Respect'.

Marriage Conference Day #2

This morning was the second day of Dr. Gary Chapman's marriage conference at the West End Assembly of God, in Richmond, Va. Yesterday he talked about 'The Five Love Languages' and the 'Five Languages of Apology'.

Todays critical marriage information was based out of his book 'The Marriage You've Always Wanted'. The main topic of the book is focused toward communication in our marriage. Communication is a necessity for a great marriage! Since we know ourself better than anyone else, we have to communicate what we like and don't like to our spouse.

Communication has to be a two way street in a marriage. This means a few things. We must be able to talk comfortably with each other. We must be able to clearly express what we are trying to say. And we must listen when the other person is talking. Are you listening yet? :) Sometimes its even a great idea to express your thoughts and have the other person paraphrase those thoughts back to you. This way you know your getting the right message across. Assuming is never a good idea.

We also discussed the topic of sex. Sex was created by God, and He even said it was very good. Notice that all the other days were good, but the day that male and female were created were really good. The culture has really taken its toll on this topic, but the Bible is very clear on the specifics of sex. Overall marriages need to keep a positive attitude on sex and keep the lines of communication open in this area. This should be an incentive to read the paragraph on communication again. Still listening?

Finally, we need to realize that marriage is a ministry. As Christ came to serve, so we need to serve. And we need to serve our spouse. The conference and the book go into a lot more detail on these subjects and many more. The experience was great and I would recommend this conference or any other marriage conference to married couples. Love accepts many imperfections. Thoughts?

Check out more information on Dr. Gary Chapman and his ministries.
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Marriage Conference Day #1

Tonight was the first part of the marriage conference. The speaker was Dr. Gary Chapman, and the topics were the books 'The Five Love Languages' and 'The Five Languages of Apology'.

I know what your thinking, what is wrong with our marriage that we would need to go to a marriage conference. Well believe it or not, our marriage is stronger than it ever has been and continues to get stronger. But we can all learn new things about ourselves, our spouse, our marriage and God. So, as a couple, we take full advantage of marriage conferences and/or marriage classes.

The first topic of the night was based on 'The Five Love Languages'. The idea with the languages is that we all love in different ways. We mostly learn how to love from our parents. We would watch how they would talk to each other, do things for each other and just spend time together. When we finally find the love of our life, we have to learn the love language of our partner. Now, the first couple years may go great because of our young love. But after that time passes, we need to start to really learn about each other. We need to learn our spouses love language. The languages are these: Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. Discover which of these languages speaks most to your spouse and watch the transformation take place. Gary Chapman did a great job explaining these categories at the conference tonight, and goes into even more detail in the love languages book.

The other topic was 'The Five Languages of Apology'. Just as we grew up into a type of love language, we also grew up learning how to apologize. Apologizing is not the easiest thing to do, but is essential for our marriage to grow. Men must understand this even more as we tend to see apologizing as a sign of weakness. Most men grew up this way watching their Father, or have adjusted to the culture or male stereotype. What we don't realize is that apology is powerful and affective. As a couple we both have say sorry or admit we were wrong sometimes. None of us are perfect and we need to get this apology subject figured out for when we screw up. Notice I did not say 'if' you screw up, but 'when'. Gary Chapman has a book dedicated to learning these apology languages. I enjoyed hearing him speak about them and look forward to reading the book.

Tomorrow is day two of the conference. Check out these books when you get a chance. If you have read one or both of them, leave a comment and your thoughts. Thanks!

More information! http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

'The True Measure of a Man'

I recently completed reading a book titled, 'The True Measure of a Man'. The author of the book is Richard E. Simmons III. I had found out about this book when reading reviews for a book titled 'Wild at Heart.' This is in fact another great read that I will review another time. This was a great book and is a must read for every man! Many of the recent posts on the 'Manturity' Facebook Page have been quotes from the book. The book explores the many issues that men go through in today's world. Chapters talk about a man's identity, a man's courage and a man's truth. How men compare themselves to other men and are never content with what they have or with their current status. If men are never happy with their current situation, then they will never be content. The book has many other books incorporated into it and there is a list of them all at the end. The book is only 132 pages, it is not overwhelming or huge. Do yourself a favor and take some time to read this book. If you have read it, leave a comment below or on the Facebook page. Thanks!


Other Reviews:

"This book is for every man of every faith or no faith at all. He'll learn why he doesn't have to live with the guilt, insecurity, and fear that most men experience but often pretend they don't." Fred Barnes

"This book provides answers to men's deepest questions and helps them understand what they are feeling as they go through the storms of life. He points us to a life of contentment that can only be found in the Lord. I believe every man should read this book." Pat Sullivan