Resource Ready!

Over the recent and long holiday weekend, my wife and I had the pleasure of going back to our home town in Pennsylvania to be with our families. It was a great trip! When we are home we typically go to my wife's family's home Church. After hearing a solid sermon from the lead pastor, I proceeded to get my second cup of coffee. The cafe area was packed with people and I did my best to break through the crowd to get my precious coffee. As I was preparing the mix, I was approached by a man who started asking me about the Manturity blog. He was friends with my wife's family and had heard about it. I believe he also leads small groups for men at their Church. I told him where to find it and to share some thoughts on some of the topics. Towards the end of the conversation, a lady (also getting coffee) overheard us talking and asked excitedly what the blog was about. I told her it was a blog for establishing spiritual maturity in today's man. After saying this she went on to tell me that her husband was currently leaving her and she was going to be left raising their boy on her own. She asked if me if I had any advice or could help her out in any way. Although I was frustrated for a moment that a man was leaving his wife, his boy and the Church; I had to press on quickly to see if I could offer this lady some resources that would be effective and influential. (Can this situation verify that my coffee addiction is ok :) ?

With my wife by my side, I was able to share with her some very fruitful information. I first told her to keep praying for her husband and for her marriage, and don't stop! I then told her about a couple books that she should read. The first was 'Raising a Modern Day Knight' by author Robert Lewis. To be honest, I have never read this book, but it is on my list (especially now that I am having a son). But I have read the reviews, watched the book trailer and have reviewed the author. The second book I mentioned that I have read a couple times is 'The Way of the Wild Heart' or the updated book 'Fathered by God' by author John Eldredge. Both are the same book, but 'Fathered by God' is in paperback and is slightly shorter. I told her that this book describes that path to manhood from Boyhood all the way to the Sage. You can read my review of it here. I told her that these books talk about how a Father should raise a son, but if the Father is not around then the mother must read it. The lady seemed satisfied with the information and I pray that she gets the books and reads them. My wife was also able to confirm what I was telling the lady and even described some of the information to her. I always share what I read and learn with my wife and I can see that she takes it all in. It was great to have her confirm the message and be by my side through this experience. Although the experience went well, I was not completely satisfied.

I went from there asking myself if I was Resource Ready. Am I prepared for what people are going to ask me? Have I done my homework so that I can properly provide answers to those in need or with questions? Do you feel like your resource ready? If you were a man regularly attending church and was approached with something like this or something similar, what would you do? What would you say? This is important! This is part of being a good Disciple! I know we won't always have all the answers, but are we preparing ourselves the best we can? This idea has been on my mind ever since I encountered this. This has affected me enough to start building a new 'resources' page for Manturity; a place that goes through the stages of a man's life and provides resources for people to use. Check it out here! This is just another example of how God speaks to us, but we have to be listening. I heard Him and I'm responding!

Are you Resource Ready?
Share your story if you have ever encountered 

anything like this situation.

MAN UP! -Book Review

MAN UP! BECOMING A GODLY MAN IN AN UNGODLY WORLD is a book I recently had the pleasure of reading. The book was written by author and speaker Jody Burkeen. The book starts out with a powerful testimony about the journey Jody had to go through to truly find God. It's a testimony of a man fighting false desires and continually going up against the strikes of the enemy. A testimony of truth and honesty. He fought many of the battles we men face each and everyday and he didn't sugar coat it. In Jody's own words he had to MAN UP and stop being a spiritual sissy!

The book is divided up into some powerful, faith packed chapters. He doesn't just point out the life of Christ, but he points out how we are to mold our life after Christ. This applies in so many areas and Jody nails them in this book. He doesn't stop there though. He takes each chapter and asks some hard and relevant questions. Questions that demand answers from every man! Here is a brief outline of the chapters.

TIME TO MAN UP PERSONALLY

MAN UP IN YOUR MARRIAGE

MAN UP IN YOUR FATHERHOOD

MAN UP IN YOUR CHURCH

MAN UP AT WORK

MAN UP AND BE ACCOUNTABLE

MAN UP AND BE A DISCIPLE

PUT UP OR SHUT UP

As you can see these chapters go right to the heart of the man. The core. He takes each chapter and gives you great examples and explains how to apply them to your life. The questions at the end are the cherries on top. They bring the entire chapter together and ultimately into your personal life. Don't let these questions go unanswered; don't skip them and move on. Take ten minutes, grab and pen and paper and have a heart check. Pray and see where you stand with God on the issues brought up in each chapter. As Jody would say, Stop being a Spiritual Sissy and Man Up! 

The book doesn't end at the last chapter though. Jody does something great and asks you for more. As men, we all want more; but we have to make sure we want the right things. Well 30 days beyond the book chapters is the "more" we need. Develop your personal testimony, read the scriptures, keep a journal and PRAY! Sounds easy enough, right? There is also an Accountability Covenant near the back of the book. You'll have to read Chapter 6 to learn more about that. This by the way is my second favorite chapter, next to MAN UP AND BE A DISCIPLE. 

I encourage everyone to check out this book. It's a short, easy read that is packed with some powerful life changing material. Read the first part of the book here for free and click the picture below to pick yourself up a copy. Now MAN UP!

A Man Like Christ

This year has been nothing short of a process. From struggling with who I was and almost having my marriage fall apart, to realizing the my own black selfishness. I had to go down to the bottom of a deep, dark pit in order the see the pure light of Christ. I know, now, that He put me down in that pit for a reason and that the reasons would reveal themselves over time. Christ showed me a way out of the pit and asked me to walk along with Him and just listen. Over the course of this year, I can look back and see the path He has taken me on. And like Christ, the journey has been anything but ordinary.

We are to be like Christ, but what is it to be like Christ? I didn't realize, at first, that this was the question I have been asking ever since He first took me by my heart. The earlier months of the year went something like this. Desire. I kept hearing the word desire and I had no idea why. But, everyday the word just kept coming and it only got louder. If you have been following Manturity for a little while now you will know about my series on Desire. I came to realize that because I started walking with Christ, I had actually started to 'delight' in Him. (Psalm37:4). I came to realize that life wasn't about my own selfish desires, but rather it was about asking God what I desired. I went from praying 'what do I desire God?' to 'what would You have me desire God?'. That shift made a massive difference in my view on desire. It put desire in perspective and made me less interested in the meaningless things and more interested in the meaningful things. I also began to realize that I wanted to be a true Man of God, or a Man Like Christ.

In continuing my desire to be a man more like Christ, I moved my focus to 'influence'. I really didn't understand this shift at first, but I went with it anyway. I began to think about the ways things influenced my life, behavior, emotions and so on. I wrote about music, friends and work. But God was saying more, He wanted me to take the idea of influence and persuasion further. I didn't understand what He meant by 'further' till more recently. See, Jesus had a style that he did life different than anyone that has ever lived. Jesus never said the "normal" thing and never responded in a general way. He always had a reason behind His motivation. He had a way of making people think and challenged people to do the right thing by their own means. He could be in the toughest of situations where there seemed to be no way out and He would simply surprise everybody. His style of influence is enchanting to say the least.

If I truly desire to be more like Christ, than I need to know his personality. John Eldredge's newest book, Beautiful Outlaw, couldn't come at a better time. This book gets into the wild personality of the risen Christ. I also started reading another book called 'Split Second Persuasion'. This is not a Christian author, but it gets into the origins of persuasion and influence. I am only a few chapters into each book, but they go together in a great way. Lessons from Jesus Christ himself and a hard look at how God designed influence in us since birth.

When I saw the path in the distance, God pointed to the path of desire. And in going down that path I have seen the fruits along the way of making Him my desire. But God demands more of us. As the path of desire is conquered, I can see in the distance the path of influence. The path to the deeper understanding of how to lead and speak like Christ. The path of desire was made of soft grass with only a few hills. But I have already started on the rocky, more rugged path of the personality of Christ. This is what it takes to be a Man Like Christ. To continue to seek more, to continue to work harder no matter the challenge set before you.

Our God is a God of Process.....

'Beautiful Outlaw'

Have you ever considered the personality of Jesus?

Author, John Eldredge, explores this wonderful idea in his new upcoming book titled

 'Beautiful Outlaw'. You might recognize John Eldredge from his popular men's
 book titled 'Wild at Heart'. 'Wild at Heart' started quite the buzz in world of men's ministry about 10 years ago. He has written several books since then that I have read and highly recommend. 

Eldredge said the following about his new book:

 "Reading the Gospels without knowing the personality of Jesus is like watching television with the sound turned off. The result is a dry, two dimensional person doing strange, undecipherable things".

"John Eldredge removes the religious varnish to help readers discover stunning new insights into the humanity of Jesus. He was accused of breaking the law, keeping bad company, heavy drinking. Of being the devil himself. He was so compelling and dangerous they had to kill him. But others loved him passionately. He had a sense of humor. His generosity was scandalous. His anger made enemies tremble. He'd say the most outrageous things. He was definitely not the Jesus of the stained glass". 

This book will help us understand Jesus in a new way and make our relationship with Him more powerful than ever before. Check it out!

Desire in Marriage

As a man, I want to love her, but do I really know how to love her? Especially when times are difficult?

Before we get married, we are one separate being. We do things our own way and we desire the things in life that are pleasing and helping to ourselves. Before I said, 'I do', all I was use to saying was 'I want'. What I mean by this is that I did what I wanted. I didn't have to "do" too many things against my nature. When my wife and I were dating, the times together were free and very forgiving. We were able to look past the little quirks, the little things that actually annoyed us a lot. The only thing we wanted was to be together, but does anyone ever really know what their asking for when they take this step? Truth be told, God does and its all part of His plan. All these differences we find in our partner are actually things that will help us, as individuals, become a stronger and better person.

When we tied the knot, we said 'I do'. I DO promise to love you, I DO promise to take care of you, I DO promise to stay with you through the good and bad. I DO promise to desire you. The way we desired that person before is not going to be enough to make the marriage work and last. God has put the desire in us to find this special someone, but we ultimately don't know why. As we find out the different things about each other, we start to take a step back. What is that anger about? I never did things like that growing up! Who are you? The simple desires that brought us together have started to fade into the fog. We get caught up in the storms of life and we start to lose hope. In other words we lose our desire for that person.

The bottom line is we have to think about the desires that brought us together. We have to focus on the desires that keep us together now. And finally the desire to move forward together and get past the little issues. As John and Stasi Eldredge  write in their book 'Love & War'. "Because marriage is hard, the first great battle it to not lose heart. We must recover and maintain desire. Let desire return and remind you of all that you wanted, all that you were created for. "

How have you maintained desire in your marriage?

A Call to be Courageous

Have you heard of the new movie coming out called 'Courageous'? The movie will be coming out on September 30th to a theater near you.

This is not your typical Hollywood movie though. The movie is about four Police officers who are focused and confident when it comes to facing danger on the job. But when it comes to leading their families at home in a God-honoring way, they must find their true stength and true courage.

As I was walking around the bookstore yesterday, I also noticed there are some books to go along with the movie. The first book I found was titled 'The Resolution for Men'. I took this book, read the introduction and the first chapter. I had to hold myself back from trying to read it all in a day. The information just in the first few pages was intense and straight to the point. We need men to stand up and Be Courageous.
There is also a book for women titled 'The Resolution for Women'. My wife started reading the book last night and had the same reaction. Intense and to the point.

I would highly recommend planning to watch this movie at the end of this month. Also, check out the books if you can (my wife and I bought both books at 'LifeWay' last night ). Click the links, and SPREAD THE WORD!

2BB4W94MYAHZ

False Desires

I recently read an awesome book titled ‘Desire’, by author John Elderidge. The book is about the journey we must take to find our true desire. The next few blog posts are a small view inside the journey of desire from my perspective.

What would the average man say if you asked him what he desired? A few ideas might be sports, like football or golf. Maybe he would say ‘women’ and give you a full download of what he means and why. Maybe he would say success.  Maybe he would give you a blank look and wonder what in the world you were asking.

But, I wonder what the same man would say if you asked him ‘Are you happy?’ I imagine you would get a strange look, a rude comment or an obvious fake answer. If the word desire is in question, then the word happy has even less meaning.

The two of these questions go hand in hand with each other. The reason men are not happy, is because they are looking for desire in all the wrong places. Men spend their days at work hoping to rise in the food chain. Maybe working two jobs to try to get that “dream” house and affirmation. Men wrap themselves up in sports for weekends on end. Men go from woman to woman looking for that perfect one. They tell stories of their exterior beauty, and then say they got rid of her because she was crazy. These false desires or bad attempts at intimacy go round and round and round. The ‘desires’ are chased until they have lost their luster. Like young love, the initial tingle is gone and you move on to the next thing. The next “big” thing has the same results and you start to wonder about life and if there is even a purpose. Happiness becomes a lost word you hear once in a while from a stranger. The word itself is a stranger.

These false desire are merely addictions, and the Bible referes to them as 'adulterous'. They keep us from knowing our true desires. They keep us from knowing God.

So what are we to desire? How do we find it and make an attempt to understand it?

In the coming posts, we will discuss how to take Desire to the next level.

Please feel free to comment below and add your thoughts.

Marriage Conference Day #2

This morning was the second day of Dr. Gary Chapman's marriage conference at the West End Assembly of God, in Richmond, Va. Yesterday he talked about 'The Five Love Languages' and the 'Five Languages of Apology'.

Todays critical marriage information was based out of his book 'The Marriage You've Always Wanted'. The main topic of the book is focused toward communication in our marriage. Communication is a necessity for a great marriage! Since we know ourself better than anyone else, we have to communicate what we like and don't like to our spouse.

Communication has to be a two way street in a marriage. This means a few things. We must be able to talk comfortably with each other. We must be able to clearly express what we are trying to say. And we must listen when the other person is talking. Are you listening yet? :) Sometimes its even a great idea to express your thoughts and have the other person paraphrase those thoughts back to you. This way you know your getting the right message across. Assuming is never a good idea.

We also discussed the topic of sex. Sex was created by God, and He even said it was very good. Notice that all the other days were good, but the day that male and female were created were really good. The culture has really taken its toll on this topic, but the Bible is very clear on the specifics of sex. Overall marriages need to keep a positive attitude on sex and keep the lines of communication open in this area. This should be an incentive to read the paragraph on communication again. Still listening?

Finally, we need to realize that marriage is a ministry. As Christ came to serve, so we need to serve. And we need to serve our spouse. The conference and the book go into a lot more detail on these subjects and many more. The experience was great and I would recommend this conference or any other marriage conference to married couples. Love accepts many imperfections. Thoughts?

Check out more information on Dr. Gary Chapman and his ministries.
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

'The True Measure of a Man'

I recently completed reading a book titled, 'The True Measure of a Man'. The author of the book is Richard E. Simmons III. I had found out about this book when reading reviews for a book titled 'Wild at Heart.' This is in fact another great read that I will review another time. This was a great book and is a must read for every man! Many of the recent posts on the 'Manturity' Facebook Page have been quotes from the book. The book explores the many issues that men go through in today's world. Chapters talk about a man's identity, a man's courage and a man's truth. How men compare themselves to other men and are never content with what they have or with their current status. If men are never happy with their current situation, then they will never be content. The book has many other books incorporated into it and there is a list of them all at the end. The book is only 132 pages, it is not overwhelming or huge. Do yourself a favor and take some time to read this book. If you have read it, leave a comment below or on the Facebook page. Thanks!


Other Reviews:

"This book is for every man of every faith or no faith at all. He'll learn why he doesn't have to live with the guilt, insecurity, and fear that most men experience but often pretend they don't." Fred Barnes

"This book provides answers to men's deepest questions and helps them understand what they are feeling as they go through the storms of life. He points us to a life of contentment that can only be found in the Lord. I believe every man should read this book." Pat Sullivan