Monday, May 7, 2012

A Husband's Responsibility

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
-I Corinthians 13:11

I do not have any children of my own yet, but I do get to watch them once and awhile and, of course, I use to be one myself. A child really has no responsibility but to grow and learn. These are things that come to a child through teaching. Where does the teaching come from? Well, I am glad you asked. 
In my opinion, Paul nails this verse right on everyone’s forehead, including ours today. When I was a child, it was all about me and what I wanted; if I did not get what I wanted, I threw a fit; much like most children still do. There is nothing really wrong with this, especially since we know that this is going to happen. But what happens when you start to grow up and life begins to get more interesting? You start to see the fruit or poison of your own decisions. You start to become a man. You start to learn how to accept responsibility! I understood the idea of responsibility pretty well in my late teens, but really only had a slight clue. I asked a beautiful woman to marry me in my early twenties and the true tests began. After being married for a couple years and quite frankly struggling, I had to ask a pivotal question. What is a husband’s responsibility?

My wife and I had been dating for over 5 years before we said ‘I do’. We thought things would be smooth and easy. I’ve always considered myself to be a quick learner and thought the marriage process would go smooth. I had always felt a need to protect my wife, but not with a very strong desire. If she was bothering me or if we had a fight, that level of emotional protection would fall off the cliff quick. It was as though I held protection in my hands, but I was capable of dropping it or storing it away for awhile until we made up or I “liked” her again. But with the power of Christ behind me for over a year now, I can honestly say that my level of physical and emotional protection has gone beyond my imagination. The Lord will show you YOUR desires if you allow him to and as a husband He has shown me that my Desire to protect my wife should be always switched on. I can’t store it away when things go bad, I can’t use it against her. As the husband, it is my responsibility to protect her, no matter what.

The verse stated above again comes to mind with this subject. A child does not serve, they are served. It is our responsibility to serve our children by raising them in a Godly way. When I married my wife, I had no idea what ‘serve’ truly met. Serving each other in marriage is not about keeping score or a competition. It’s about doing what is right and good. It is about being a true man and stepping up to the position God has put you into as the Spiritual Leader. My first few years as a husband were more about me, thus I only did what I needed to match her. This only causes non-sense fights and bitter roots to start to form. God fathered me and revealed to me what it really means to serve. It means unwavering, it holds no score, it has no end, it has no relation to what she has or hasn’t done and it is the way Christ lived. Be a man who serves your wife and she will be more willing to respect you.

Have you found this to be true in your own marriage?

Our God is a God of process.
Be a Man of Responsibility!

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