AFFIRM

When I was growing up, my father and I used to race go karts. To be completely honest, this is when life felt like it actually started. We started racing when I was around 14 years old. Up to that point, most of the activities in our family were done, well, as a family. I had competed in other sports like basketball and baseball, but they didn't compare to racing with my dad. In basketball I had 4 other guys around me and we tried to move in one motion. We were led by a good man, our coach, and he did his best to bring us together as a team. This was a great time period of learning how to work together and take orders from an older man other than my father.

Racing go-karts was much different though. It came down to my dad and me. We were the team and we had to depend on each other. In my first couple years of racing, it was about learning and having fun. Karts and motors weren't that expensive and we got to the track in our reliable Dodge Caravan. I didn't know it at the time, but my father was using this time to train and mold me. Each time I went out on the track, he made sure I was ready and told me I could do great. "Watch your speed around those turns." "Sometimes you have to go slow, to go fast." "Careful, the track is slick so get those tires warmed up first." He would give me a high five, fist bump or a hand pat on the helmet afterwards. He'd ask me if I was ready, I would nod, and he would start the engine up. I would sit there in the kart just staring at the track in front of me. Thinking about what my father had just told me; thinking about the last race and maybe what I did wrong; thinking about the fast kid and how I could possibly beat him this race. Out on the track, it was up to me. My father could give me the best kart, the fastest motor and finest equipment; but if I didn't drive smart, we would have nothing. My foot and leg would always be slammed to the gas pedal. Sometimes I wouldn't realize how hard I was pushing it down and would have to relax myself. I'm surprised the pedal never broke on me. In and out of turns; dust from the dirt track flying past me and my eyes never leaving the man in front of me. I'd finish the race, sometimes satisfied and sometime disappointed, and head back into the infield. No matter what, my father would be there to see my out of my kart. No matter what happened in the race, he would help me get the kart back to the stand and loaded up. No matter what, he told me I did a good job and raced a good race.

Affirm means to express agreement with or commitment to; uphold; support. I am reminded of a time the Father spoke to His Son in the book of Mathew: "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased". Our example of the father and son relationship is built upon love and affirmation. With just a few simple words, fathers were shown how to speak to their sons. As a son and soon to be father, this verse will be at the forefront of my thoughts. Just as my father affirmed me each time I went onto the track and got off the track; I want to make sure I affirm. It wasn't just about the speed, the sound of engines roaring everywhere or the thick smell of gasoline in the air; it was about a relationship, mentorship, sonship. I will always remember those days on the track and I even look forward to the day I can put my son in the seat, with Grandpa as the crew chief. 

We've all gone through affirmation at one point or another. 
Describe the process of your affirmation. Good or bad.

Boot Camp for New Dads

As some of you may know, my wife and I are expecting our first child come this January. We are very excited and also very nervous, or at least I am. We have been attending some pre-baby classes together that our hospital provided. Men, be sure to attend these classes with your wife and pay attention! No matter how good you are at changing oil or playing sports; this is a whole new ballgame. Get my drift?

Yesterday was my first "new dad" class. When we went to the hospital for the very first time months ago, there was a sign near the elevators with a pair of boots on it. I walked up to it and it read "Boot Camp for New Dads". I knew right away that this was a class I was going to need to attend. The program is sponsored by "First Things First Richmond"; a faith-influenced organization in the Richmond, VA area. 

The meat of the program comes from a national organization called "Dads Adventure" and they sponsor "Boot Camp for New Dads". It is the nation's largest program for fathers, operating in 260 communities across 43 states, the U.S. Army, Navy and Air Force, and expanding internationally. Click on some of the links to see what is available in your area or to start your own class!

I really had no idea what to expect going into this class. I wasn't sure if I'd be changing diapers or watching some videos of births, but I felt it was essential that I had to go. There were about 20-25 other "rookies" in the group and there were 3 veterans with babies onsite. At first I thought these men had just scheduled to come to the class a little too late, but I was wrong. The class was from 9am-12pm and each hour was very well rounded. We went around the room and introduced ourselves and it took off from there. 

• The first hour consisted of questions and topics led by the facilitator. He would ask the questions and the veterans would give their input on the topic and talk about their personal experiences. It was great to hear each one of them give their own opinions. They all had a slightly different take on how to do it, but they all worked. 

• The second hour consisted of one-on-one time with each veteran. We broke into 3 groups and had free reign to ask any questions. From what were absolute essential items; to what was their schedule like; to how they assisted their wife with the baby. This was great information. 

• The final hour consisted of what I'll call "straight talk" from another facilitator. He talked about the mother having the "baby blues" or depression and how to handle that. He talked a lot about crying babies and how we need to be very patient with them. And under NO circumstance are we to shake the baby! He mentioned safety tips; introducing the pets to the new family member; and baby CPR. Let's hear some of your best tips veteran dads. What worked for you?

Overall I was very impressed with the class. It was very professional and very well organized. They are able to pack a solid punch of information in a short amount of time. The veterans are the stars as they are hammered with question after question and handle it very well. I learned much more then I anticipated and walked away from the class feeling much more confident in my "new" daddy skills. As a point of mention, I want to say what my TOP THREE main things were as I walked away from the class. 

NUMBER ONE was communication. Communicate with the mother to be about as much as possible now and keep it up after the baby is born. It is absolutely essential!
NUMBER TWO was pre-planning. Pre-Plan now! Pre-plan before you head to the delivery room; before you allow visitors over; before you have family visit and more. This goes back to number one. 
NUMBER THREE was protection. You are the Protector and your wife is going to need you to step up! Whether it is helping her around the house; watching the baby and mother closely as others handle him; or making sure they are both safe and secure. It us your job to make sure this gets done! 

I look forward to going back as a veteran someday! Be sure to check out the website links above and support an awesome program!

So let's hear it veteran mothers and fathers. What is your best piece of advice you can offer rookie parents?

TUNGSTEN

First discovered in 1781 and finally perfected in 1783, tungsten became a material much stronger than your average steel. Despite its strong characteristics, it didn't play a major role until World War II. Its robust nature and very high melting point made it key in the arms business back then. Tungsten has also been called "heavy stone" and can also be called "wolframite". Just from those two optional names make it sound quite strong. Its modern day uses are a little more widespread though. Tungsten can be found in light bulbs, heating elements, rocket engines and on my finger.

As my wife were anticipating our big day (marriage). We, like all other couples, had to find our perfect rings. I had never really thought it was a big deal to find "the right ring". I figured it could be something that was simple and not flashy (my wife would agree that that is my overall style). No jewels, nothing shiny, just simple. I looked around without much effort and my fiancée (now wife) mentioned getting a ring made of tungsten. It sounded expensive, but I took it into consideration. She told me that the advantage with tungsten was it would not scratch. She also told me that if it something happened and they needed the ring off, they might have to take my entire finger. But, like any good man would, I avoided that point. My work involved using tools and handling materials on a daily basis, and the last thing I wanted was for my "investment" (ring) to get damaged only after a few years of use. I agreed on the tungsten, not flashy of course, and we made the purchase. I would go into her ring process, but I don't have the space :)

Why does all of this matter? A ring is on your finger to make a statement. In my case, it says "I'm married, so hands off", or something like that. I think most men wear them because it is a part of the process. But women wear them for much different reasons. There's is a very BOLD statement and they love it. When I look at my ring that I have been wearing for over six years now, I am amazed at how strong it is and how great it still looks. Tungsten is the real deal. Tungsten reminds me of myself and my marriage. The very, very minor surface marks are there from the years, but it still looks great. Life is full of "surface scratches", but we must march forward. We must have the weight of a "heavy stone" to not give in to the pressures. And we must have the tenacity of a "wolf" to make it past some of life's battles. When I look at my tungsten ring, I know that it is around for the long haul. It's not going to get heavy damage. It's not going to scratch easily. I want to be a Man of Tungsten for my God, my marriage and myself. The reminder is always there and I look forward to growing old with it by my side.

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Ring Credit: This ring can be found at SavoryStone.com. A great gift idea for the man in your life.

Resource Ready!

Over the recent and long holiday weekend, my wife and I had the pleasure of going back to our home town in Pennsylvania to be with our families. It was a great trip! When we are home we typically go to my wife's family's home Church. After hearing a solid sermon from the lead pastor, I proceeded to get my second cup of coffee. The cafe area was packed with people and I did my best to break through the crowd to get my precious coffee. As I was preparing the mix, I was approached by a man who started asking me about the Manturity blog. He was friends with my wife's family and had heard about it. I believe he also leads small groups for men at their Church. I told him where to find it and to share some thoughts on some of the topics. Towards the end of the conversation, a lady (also getting coffee) overheard us talking and asked excitedly what the blog was about. I told her it was a blog for establishing spiritual maturity in today's man. After saying this she went on to tell me that her husband was currently leaving her and she was going to be left raising their boy on her own. She asked if me if I had any advice or could help her out in any way. Although I was frustrated for a moment that a man was leaving his wife, his boy and the Church; I had to press on quickly to see if I could offer this lady some resources that would be effective and influential. (Can this situation verify that my coffee addiction is ok :) ?

With my wife by my side, I was able to share with her some very fruitful information. I first told her to keep praying for her husband and for her marriage, and don't stop! I then told her about a couple books that she should read. The first was 'Raising a Modern Day Knight' by author Robert Lewis. To be honest, I have never read this book, but it is on my list (especially now that I am having a son). But I have read the reviews, watched the book trailer and have reviewed the author. The second book I mentioned that I have read a couple times is 'The Way of the Wild Heart' or the updated book 'Fathered by God' by author John Eldredge. Both are the same book, but 'Fathered by God' is in paperback and is slightly shorter. I told her that this book describes that path to manhood from Boyhood all the way to the Sage. You can read my review of it here. I told her that these books talk about how a Father should raise a son, but if the Father is not around then the mother must read it. The lady seemed satisfied with the information and I pray that she gets the books and reads them. My wife was also able to confirm what I was telling the lady and even described some of the information to her. I always share what I read and learn with my wife and I can see that she takes it all in. It was great to have her confirm the message and be by my side through this experience. Although the experience went well, I was not completely satisfied.

I went from there asking myself if I was Resource Ready. Am I prepared for what people are going to ask me? Have I done my homework so that I can properly provide answers to those in need or with questions? Do you feel like your resource ready? If you were a man regularly attending church and was approached with something like this or something similar, what would you do? What would you say? This is important! This is part of being a good Disciple! I know we won't always have all the answers, but are we preparing ourselves the best we can? This idea has been on my mind ever since I encountered this. This has affected me enough to start building a new 'resources' page for Manturity; a place that goes through the stages of a man's life and provides resources for people to use. Check it out here! This is just another example of how God speaks to us, but we have to be listening. I heard Him and I'm responding!

Are you Resource Ready?
Share your story if you have ever encountered 

anything like this situation.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I pray you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Be thankful to God for all He has done for you and will do. Be thankful for great family and friends. Be thankful for life. I am thankful to have some great followers on so many platforms, a wonderful family to visit, a beautiful wife, a new son coming soon and look forward to what God has planned. Have a great day!

MAN UP! -Book Review

MAN UP! BECOMING A GODLY MAN IN AN UNGODLY WORLD is a book I recently had the pleasure of reading. The book was written by author and speaker Jody Burkeen. The book starts out with a powerful testimony about the journey Jody had to go through to truly find God. It's a testimony of a man fighting false desires and continually going up against the strikes of the enemy. A testimony of truth and honesty. He fought many of the battles we men face each and everyday and he didn't sugar coat it. In Jody's own words he had to MAN UP and stop being a spiritual sissy!

The book is divided up into some powerful, faith packed chapters. He doesn't just point out the life of Christ, but he points out how we are to mold our life after Christ. This applies in so many areas and Jody nails them in this book. He doesn't stop there though. He takes each chapter and asks some hard and relevant questions. Questions that demand answers from every man! Here is a brief outline of the chapters.

TIME TO MAN UP PERSONALLY

MAN UP IN YOUR MARRIAGE

MAN UP IN YOUR FATHERHOOD

MAN UP IN YOUR CHURCH

MAN UP AT WORK

MAN UP AND BE ACCOUNTABLE

MAN UP AND BE A DISCIPLE

PUT UP OR SHUT UP

As you can see these chapters go right to the heart of the man. The core. He takes each chapter and gives you great examples and explains how to apply them to your life. The questions at the end are the cherries on top. They bring the entire chapter together and ultimately into your personal life. Don't let these questions go unanswered; don't skip them and move on. Take ten minutes, grab and pen and paper and have a heart check. Pray and see where you stand with God on the issues brought up in each chapter. As Jody would say, Stop being a Spiritual Sissy and Man Up! 

The book doesn't end at the last chapter though. Jody does something great and asks you for more. As men, we all want more; but we have to make sure we want the right things. Well 30 days beyond the book chapters is the "more" we need. Develop your personal testimony, read the scriptures, keep a journal and PRAY! Sounds easy enough, right? There is also an Accountability Covenant near the back of the book. You'll have to read Chapter 6 to learn more about that. This by the way is my second favorite chapter, next to MAN UP AND BE A DISCIPLE. 

I encourage everyone to check out this book. It's a short, easy read that is packed with some powerful life changing material. Read the first part of the book here for free and click the picture below to pick yourself up a copy. Now MAN UP!

The Priority Challenge!

A big part of spiritual maturity is consistency and consistency requires discipline. Recently I have run into some brothers in Christ that have been struggling. By struggling, I mean they just can't get their thoughts straight and are lacking discipline in their daily walk. The issues can stem from current situations, past struggles, or the daily events of their world getting in the way. At first, I didn't know how to approach this issue. What do they mean they don't have time to focus on God? How can they be so consistent in worldly things, but have no time or interest in the things from the Father? I prayed about it for awhile and thought back to the time I was struggling with my thoughts and so much more. Then I remembered my TOP TEN list. This was a list I developed over the course of a few months on my path to spiritual maturity. I made it because my priorities in life were not in order. To be honest, I probably could not have even named off ten items at the time. I was buried in a deep hole of depression and past struggle and I knew I needed a change.

This is not a post to make you comment or reflect on something. This is a post to challenge you! It comes down to a simple question that demands answers "What are your top ten priorities in life?" Simple right? I know you can probably think of a couple to get you started, but don't take the easy route with this one. Don't fake your answers. Don't fluff up your answers and write what should be your priorities; get real with yourself and be honest. These things are most likely what you think about most in the day. These are things that must be very important to you. Part of the challenge is that you have to write the answers down! Once you have your Top Ten list established, than come up with your "why" for each point. Why are these things important to you? Why do they take up so much time in your life? The beauty of this process is honesty. The list will show you who you are in the background and what the result is when people see or encounter you.

Once you have the list and you have your reasons. Share them with somebody. Tell the person about the list and just have them listen to you. No commentary. No strange looks. No opinions. This is a crucial part of the process. This part will make you formulate the ideas into words. You will most likely say more than what you wrote down. This could be the part of the process where you can finally understand why it's so important or you can realize how futile it really is. You'll find things of importance bundling up. Relationships? Goals? Struggles? After the process is through; you'll have learned quite a bit about yourself. You'll know where you need to make changes or you'll know what's right where it is suppose to be. Clarity. You'll see if your life is reflecting the life God intended for you or if you're living for yourself. 

-THE CHALLENGE-

List your Top Ten priorities in life.

Write down the details of why they are a priority.

Share them with someone.

Make necessary changes or Stay put. You'll know.

If you do the challenge. Come back and share your thoughts 

or just share your thoughts on the idea.

don't have time? Priorities...