A Letter To A Young Man

Dear Young Man,

I've seen you in Church a few times and thought you looked like someone new. I've also seen you at the entrance to the Church, making your way through the crowd and heading to your safe seat location or the other times I would see you throwing out some handshakes to a few men. All of those times you have been alone. With never taking the chance to speak to you, I felt compelled or almost called from the Lord to write you a letter. Trust me when I say this is not my normal pattern, but I've learned to listen when God speaks.

From my occasional glances around the Church crowd, I could tell that you were a man interested in what the preacher was speaking about each day. Clearly much younger than me, I can't help but think of myself when I was younger. To be honest, I probably would not have come to Church and I know I would not have looked as interested. If I was there, I was only there in the physical as my heart was never really in the whole Church thing.

OK, before I lose you and you start wondering why some dude has been watching you, I wanted to challenge you with a few things. I have been through those late teens and early twenties and can remember my cold and hard mind set. I tried to come across strong and confident, but could be broken easily. I was able to fight through many battles to get to where I am today, so hear me out.

My Question: Why do you come come to Church?
In my younger days I mainly went to Church because I simply had to. My earlier years consisted of my parents making me go, my times after that were related to my girlfriend going and the other times I would go out of guilt or a bad conscience. More recently after my marriage, I would go out of duty to my wife. Rarely did I ever go on my own, and those are times and years that I dearly regret. So I ask again, why do you go?

After years of knowing about Christ, the Church and his teachings; it took a thorough beating to get me to truly believe. It took years of struggle to finally believe in the old Bible stories, the amazing people and of course the life of Jesus Christ. I suppose my path in life let me get to this point, but I can't help wonder if things would have been better or different if I would have received a letter like this or if a man of maturity and respect would have grabbed me and shared his life story with me. I like to think I would have listened to him,  but I was very capable of putting on the "good show" without truly living the right life. Confidence is good, but life experience is hard to beat or deny. Again, why do you go?

My Opinion: Why go?
We are all traveling on a path; some paths are easier and some are harder. My suggestion is to stop wondering if Christ is there for you and ACCEPT that he is real and he is there for you. Church is a place of worship, of prayer, of relationship and so much more. Don't just go because you have to or feel guilty. Go because you want to learn! Go because you want to grow spiritually! Say a prayer while you're there for God to speak to you in amazing ways. Take the initiative now and get involved with other wonderful people from the Church. Meet someone new each time you are there.

You'll meet people that are kind and loving.
You'll meet brothers that are going through similar issues.
You could meet the woman of your dreams.
You could meet a best friend.
You could meet Christ and live a fulfilling life, for the rest of your life.

My friend, I pray that this letter meets you with a good heart. All of us together make a family and make the Church. For this reason, I hope to call you my brother some day. What you do with the letter from here is up to you. There is no pressure. Write me back, say hello or just keep living. Keep living for Him!

It will be worth it. I promise.
Your Brother in Christ...
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Do you know a man that might need a letter like this?
Have you ever taken the initiative 
with a brother you had not met before?
Share your thoughts or experience in the comments!

God Forbid, I Joined A Church...

I recently told a good friend of mine that I was attending a Baptist church. His first words were, “But they don’t believe so many things.” You have to understand that I am a full fledged charismatic/ Pentecostal born again man. To make matters more interesting for him, I shared that at one of the services, a lady heard me signing during the praise and worship service, and thought that I had an angel’s voice.  It turned out that she was the choir director and lovingly persuaded me to join their choir. By the time I was finished talking to him, he didn't know what to say. See, I was the guy who lifted up his hands during worship, spoke in tongues, and even occasionally ran down the aisle. Get the picture? Reflecting on this friend’s reaction inspired this post.

“And He said to them, go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.” Mark 16:15-16.

When Christ told his disciples to preach the gospel, He never said anything about going to preach to dudes because they will be baptized with the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit. Jesus never said, “ And their denomination shall be called...”. Nowadays, we have segregated ourselves into so many man-made doctrines, and it appears that many of us have forgotten the simplicity of the love story of Jesus Christ.

When I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I did it alone. I heard no voice saying, “Go ye join the Pentecostal, Baptist, Charismatic, Lutheran and so forth movements.” No, I was redeemed, and the angels in heaven threw a party for me. The angels were not concerned about what denomination I would gravitate towards. They were parading and rejoicing about my decision. Let me be very clear that there is nothing wrong with any these man-made doctrines. It boils down to personal preference.

If you look at history, you will find out that many wars were started by Christians factions, not unbelievers. Fighting for power or whose perspective they thought was best to follow.  Nowadays, our wars are more subtle since we have become so civilized and educated. We see even in the church, we have become so politically correct. Some of us are fighting against ourselves all the way to the chapel because of doctrinal ideologies. When we present ourselves before the Lord, He is not going to ask you what doctrine you followed. He is indeed going to ask you, did you know my Son as your Savior.  The enemy does not have to spend any effort here since we have now become his biggest ally.

“There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all, and in you all.” Ephesians 4: 4-6

This is a fact, all “Christian” doctrines point in one direction, Jesus as the only Savior. Our command is to love one another, not to separate ourselves into so many different entities. We are supposed to be One Body.  There really is no time for anything else, but to cheer each other on through the best race there is.

So are you still stuck following 
doctrines and ideologies or Jesus? 
Share in the comments below.

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This is a guest post by Rick Cubas. He is a wild at heart kind of guy who is married to a wonderful woman and is a father to three beautiful little girls. He owns a Farmers Insurance Agency in Houston, TX.  He is a changed and redeemed man, who had an ocean for a backyard as a child and never imagined he’d grow up to become a friend of God. Check out his other posts here!

5 Reasons Why Your Marriage Needs Church

Congratulations you're married! 
You will never need help from anything or anyone ever again!

You're crazy if you believe that for a second, but I would think that a lot of newlyweds or early married couples think in this kind of way. Why? Sometimes marriage can make people think that the amazing person they just married will be their answer to life's problems. The reality? Without help, new marriage will suffer and suffer quickly! Problems will arise out of the smallest things and tempers will get worse over time. Welcome to marriage.

Although my wife and I grew up in Christian homes, went to Christian schools and attended a home Church; we had a terrible time going to Church together after we got married. We had just moved to a new area and really didn't know anybody. We thought that we would be enough for each other to handle anything life could throw our way. We managed to meet a few local people and establish friendships, but we were still missing the solid foundation that only Church could provide.

So after living life according to our terms for the first few years and almost getting divorced a couple times, we thought it might be time to see what having a home Church would be all about. We got online one day, found a really close Church to our house and agreed to try it out. We liked it. Although even after a year or so, we were still not attending regularly. We were trying to give God about half of our marriage and we still struggled in multiple ways. You know, you become the couple that looks and acts like they have it together, but ultimately the relationship could fail at any moment. Anyway, we finally agreed to take a stand in our marriage and attend a Church full time. It honestly transformed our marriage, our individual lives and our relationships with Christ.

So now that we know, here is why you need to know.

Here are 5 Reasons Why Your Marriage Needs Church

1) Great Community
Isolation in early marriage is the wrong idea, but that is typically what happens. It might have even started happening when you were dating and started removing yourselves from other groups and friends so that you could be together more. Church is great way of joining in with a community. In our experience, we have found most of the people to be very helpful and accepting. Most Churches will have a visitor area where you can introduce yourself and your wife. This should be the time when you find out about the next step.

2) Join Small Groups
The Church can provide a great way to meet new people of any age, but a small group or class will help you dial in with people your own age. I can't speak for every Church, but our Church will have a marriage group going on throughout the year. You might find some classes that are held at the Church like "Love and Respect" or "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage". Or keep an eye out for groups that meet at their houses. Our local group of young and married will meet up to hang out together, pray together, play games  together and just discuss whatever is on our minds. These groups will help you and your spouse realize that you are not alone in this crazy marriage dance and will offer great tools and resources for whatever problems you may be facing.

3) Relationship Discipline
Wouldn't it be easier to wake up Sunday morning and turn on TV or just sleep in? Sure it would, and I think we can all agree on that. But this is your marriage and if you want it to be as successful as possible, you are going to need to mature and get God involved. Don't wait to decide to go at the last second, let it be known the day before and show some excitement. Don't just slap on an old pair of jeans, rather put on some nice clothes. Schedule a small coffee date or something for after the services with your wife or with a few of your friends from Small Groups. Attending Church weekly will birth maturity and discipline in your marriage and it will make a positive impact in other areas or situations in your marriage.

4) Knowledge of God
Don't just go to Church for the small groups or community, but make it a main goal to go for the lead sermon or message. Small groups are typically more about a theme like marriage, faith, manhood or something like that. The main service is a place to learn more about the Bible and Christ. There may be a theme, but it will most likely be on a subject that you have never heard before. Don't check out at this point, rather grab a pen and take some notes (Click here to learn more about why Men should takes notes during Church). Take in what the Pastor is preaching about and find ways to apply it to your life, marriage, friendships or work. Write down a couple questions and discuss the message topics with your wife afterwards. She may have heard things that you did not and it will make for great conversation. The main sermon will offer you the diversity you need in your Christian walk.

5) Mentorship
While going through some issues in our marriage, my wife and I finally decided to seek help. The Church we attend has a great marriage program where older married couples make themselves available to help out younger or struggling couples. We were paired up with a great couple that would come over about once a month and just talk with us. After awhile, we started to become great friends and actually started taking small vacations with them along with other friends from the Church. If we would have never made ourselves open to doing this, we would have missed out on some great friends and some awesome opportunities. Take a bold step and find a marriage mentor!

Are you ready to lead your Marriage?
What are some ways you have found 
Church to be essential in your Marriage?

3 Reasons Why Every Christian Man Should Write

Are you ready?

HONESTY.

There I said it. Let's be honest gentlemen and start things out in the seat of your local church. You know, the one you try to sit in every week. Maybe you are sitting there alone, maybe your arm is around your wife. Either way you are sitting there, listening to the pastor preach the message. This is where honesty comes in. 

What are you doing sitting there? Daydreaming? Thinking about the big game later that day? These are very valid questions. The other question is, what is in your hands or what is your wife doing next to you? Writing?

Let me ask another question, "how good is your memory?" Why does this matter? Well, if you really think about it, how much of the message actually makes it into your heart? How much you are paying attention to, is how much you are getting out of it. What do you do next? You grab a pen, a paper and start to write or in other words take notes. Why?

THINK.

I don't know about you but my memory is just not that good. It is a well known fact that my wife's memory is head over heals better then mine. I feel like I woke up one morning around the age of six... Anyway. Men, we are not good enough to remember everything that is being preached. This is an average of course. Simple reviews through my own eyes, at my own church have proven this point. Judgments? No, truth.

What is the main topic in the message on Sunday? Write it down. What are some of the questions the Pastor or speaker is asking and answering? Write those down too. What quick one liners could you pick up for your social media updates in the coming week? You guessed it, write it down.

You might be thinking, "this sounds too hard or too involved." That's right men, this is called a challenge. A call. A (insert Braveheart cry here). We must challenge ourselves in our walk with God. Why? Think about the disciples. On numerous occasions, Jesus would challenge these men and make them THINK. Did they always get it? Did they always want to do it? The answer is no, but they overcame the doubt and were Jesus' right hand men. Who are we? We are Jesus' right hand men NOW. And it's time we started acting like it.

KNOWLEDGE.

Let's be honest. No, better yet, lets think about this for a minute. What will all of this extra work give us? What will writing down notes in the sermon actually do for me? Glad you asked. 

Writing down sermon notes at Church will increase your knowledge and understanding like never before. Don't believe me? Try it. Your mind won't be able to focus on the big game, your eyes won't wander to the well dressed woman in front of you. You will be focused. You will be engaged. And you will be putting the information into your heart. You will become a better, no, stronger disciple for Christ. Do I still have your attention? 

Good.

Because here is the ultimate test: 
Here is your challenge. I asked you at the beginning if you were ready.
This is your week. Yes, I repeat that this is your week! What do I mean? This is your week to write the weekly devotional for the entire congregation. What? Trust me, I am not crazy. (for the most part). Yes, write the summary, the main idea, the main theme. In words better understood, give us the instant replay.

If you took the challenge or have a thought on this topic. 
Share your replay in the comments below. 
Be Strong! Have Faith!
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Check out 3 Reasons Why Every Man Should Write via @Manturity  > Tweet This!

Why do you think Men should write? Read more via @Manturity  > Tweet This!

Learning to Cope

My wife and I had just started going to a new Church. We had just got married and moved to a new place in a different state. We had gone to about three churches up to the point, but we really hadn't found 'the one' yet. One Saturday morning, we literally looked online at all the nearby churches and one popped up that we liked. The next day we threw on our church clothes and we were off to a new place. God always has a great plan for you if you are willing to let him work. We sat down near the back and low and behold another young couple sat right behind us. (coincidence? I think not) After the service ended the couple introduced themselves to us and invited us to a marriage class with other young couples from the church. We said yes to the friends, to the class and to the church. This story introduces the friend that taught me how to cope, but I taught him first...

About a month after meeting these and other friends at this new church, my new buddy from that first day gave me a call to see if I could assist him with some work at their house. I had told him earlier that I was a carpenter by trade and he used it for his benefit, which was fine for my wife and me since we had no friends yet. It was later in the night, maybe 6 o'clock, but I grabbed my tools and we jumped in the car. I arrived at his house to find him working on some trim in a small room. He pointed out that no matter what he did, he could not figure out how to get the trim installed and fit together properly. The trim was actually crown molding, so I can understand the difficulty if not worked with before. I proceeded to tell him that the molding had been installed....upside down. His head dropped and I smiled. We had a good laugh about it and started to remove what was up so that it could be redone. I showed him how to properly install crown and also showed him how to COPE the ends so that they would have a nice clean fit in the corners. A cope in trim work is interesting, because you have to cut away the one piece so that it will fit perfectly over the other piece. They work great together.

So far you know about our church and a guy that I taught how to cope wood..

Well, a few years had passed since that wondrous night of trim coping magic. My wife and I still went to that same church, but our marriage had deteriorated immensely. No fault to the church though; we would go there and put on the church smile and attitude. We would talk the talk, but had drifted far from the walk. It got down to a point where I had had enough and finally wanted out of my marriage. I wanted nothing to do with it anymore; I wanted out. Well, this is where the coping skills come into play, no, not the ones that require a saw and a file, but true friendship. Cope means to, face and deal with responsibilities and problems in a calm manner. This is where my friend taught me how to cope. He taught me to look at the bigger picture in my life. What was I not doing? What was my walk with God like? Where was I putting my faith? It certainly wasn't in Christ and it was easy to tell by looking at my life. He was willing to sacrifice his time, he was willing to show me how my life was upside down and he showed me how to use a file on all my rough edges. He showed me how my marriage could be great, if my relationship with God was real and true. Although the molding may have ridges and valleys, you can still learn to cut the perfect cope. God truly works in wonderful ways. He knows the language that we speak and he uses it to speak right to us, even if we don't think we're listening.....

Christ taught him how to cope. I taught him how to 'cope'. He taught me to cope.

You may never know why Christ takes you down a certain paths,
But you can believe that it's for a bigger reason.

I'd love to hear your similar stories!

The Spiritual Leader!

2010

Church wasn't on the schedule, it was an after thought. You see my wife came from a family where her Father was the spiritual leader and I came from a family where my Mother was the spiritual leader. How does that dynamic translate into marriage? Well for us, it meant confusion. We both grew up in the Church, so we thought going to Church would be easy after we got married. Well we both quickly found out that the process was not so easy. Due to the family structures, I would wait for her to mention something about church and she would wait for me to say something about church. I wasn't leading, I wasn't setting an example as the leader of the household, and I was being a coward.

Sunday morning would roll around, and although the church thing was on our mind, we would maybe ask each other if we were going to church or not. Sometimes one of us would say yes, sometimes we would decide not to go. We would even consider doing other things, like going out to breakfast or playing pool. We would try to find something to fill in the time slot, when in reality we knew we should have been at our Fathers house.

This back and forth process went on for some time. We really did not even have a specific church to go to. We would try a new church once and awhile, but we would complain about the way the pastor preached or complain about the people that we saw. How selfish. We finally found a new church online and checked it out one day. This church felt different and the people were really nice too. We met another young couple who invited us to attend a small group marriage class at the church. They were not pushy or condescending in any way, just friendly. We ended up going to the marriage class on a weekly basis, which by the way was 'Love and Respect'. Notice I did not say we were going to the regular church services. Although we did not know it yet, this class was great for our marriage but it was also a way to say we were at church without being, at church. The class helped us form new relationships and opened us up to the ideas that other couples our age were struggling and having to work hard to keep their marriage going on a strong and steady path. We were invited to go to service now and then, and we did, but only to satisfy the pressure from our piers. In a sense, we would go for all the wrong reasons.

2012

Notice my lack of leadership as the man of the house. Or should I say the 'Spiritual Leader' of the house. That's right men; you are the 'SPIRITUAL LEADER' of YOUR household. Your wife should not be waiting for you to make the decision about Sunday or your walk with Christ; you should be the one to have the decision made and your faith ESTABLISHED! Don't hesitate. I can't tell you exactly why I hesitated, but I did and I did it every week. This did not show my wife strength by any means, but rather showed my lack of leadership and ultimately my inability to make a solid decision as the husband. These issues are not only noticed in this situation, but become more pronounced with all of your other decisions. She will doubt you more often, and your role will become less and less important as she has to take on the role (your role). Think about it men. The less you take the lead, the more she will have to take the lead. You are setting your own self up for destruction of your personal confidence and your marriage. YOU are called to lead. YOU are called to serve. So Do It! This is your challenge and you had better take it serious! There is no question about who will lead my household, I am the husband, I will!

READ EPHESIANS 5:21-33

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. -1 Corinthians 11:3

MM: The Tools

Being a builder has taught me some very valuable things over the years. One of the main things I have learned is that you need to right tools for the job. As soon as I know what the project is, I start figuring out what materials I will need and what tools it will take to get the job done. The right tools will make all the difference. You need the right ingredients to make delicious food. You need a map to help you get from one place to the next. You need... well you get my point. In order to be a Maintenance Man for Christ, you need to have the right tools and you need to maintain them. God has provided us with so many options and there just waiting for us to grab them and use them. I have come up with a few ideas on some really great tools!

>THE BIBLE
I know that is sounds basic, but the Bible is an amazing tool to help you stay on your path for Christ. You can buy a Bible at the store, you can download apps and you can read it on your Nook or Kindle. The Bible is powerful and available. One of the best things to do is to pray before you read it and see what God might have in store for you. There are multiple programs to make your way through the Bible. The point is to stay in it! Find the time and maintain it!

>PRAYER
I have written about prayer a few times and still agree that this is a wonderful tool that God has given to us. I use to think it had to be military, eyes closed and head bowed. But prayer goes way beyond those things. God wants us to be in a relationship with Him. Just like any good relationship, you should be able to go to your friend anytime and seek help. I came to realize that I can go to Christ anytime I need or want to; when I am walking, when I am playing, when I am working and so on. Use this tool and use it DAILY!

>FRIENDS
If it were not for my friends from Church, I don't think I would still be married. God put's people in our live for a reason. We may not always know or understand that reason, but we have to be faithful. We can not isolate ourselves and think that we can do life on our own. We need to be in relationship. Our friendships on earth are a great reflection of how we should be in relationship with Christ. Friends are willing to help, give up their time, listen to the hard things and pray for you when you are down. Having great friends takes time and patience on both sides, but the rewards are great and worth it. Check in with your friends often!


>CHURCH
Find a Church and get involved! Our Church is a second family to my wife and me. We have met some great people and have made some great friends. Some of the great tools you can find in Church are classes, groups and simply the Sunday message. My wife and I do a marriage class at Church every year now and in between we try to stay involved with something else for the Church. Doing these classes challenges you to stay consistent and keeps you honest. They are great for conversations, discussions and more. Find a Church, use the resources and become a resource. Go weekly and see the fruits!

These are just some quick and easy examples of some of the great tools God has provided us with. Being a Maintenance Man means you are staying active and using the correct tools. I was always told 'If you don't use it, you lose it.' You need to use the tools available to you. The main theme at the end of each point goes back to consistency with the tools. How can we use these tools for The Job Christ gives us?

What are some tools you use to stay active and involved with Christ? Share what has worked for you or something you would like to try!

Under the Influence

Music, Media, Television, Culture, Peers, Family, Church, Past, Relationships

What do all of these things have in common? They are the things that influence our lives, our personality, our money, our faith and more. We are constantly ‘Under the Influence’. If we are not aware of these influences and how they are affecting us, they can start to control us. They can dominate us to a point that they begin to shape a new identity in us.

The last series of posts talked about desire. This next series is based on the influences that fight for our desires everyday. God will give us the desires of our heart, but culture will give us the desires of this world. The more you let the small desires of this world influence you, the more you become of the world. Don’t forget, we are to be in the world, but not of the world. I know some things are unavoidable in this culture. If we, as Christians, are to connect with the world, we have to put ourselves into the influences. We have to be aware of the popular music, we have to know what media and society are now saying is “ok” and we have to be alert to what the enemy is up to. This, of course, leaves us wide open for temptation. But we have to be strong and stand up to these forces. Amongst all of the worldly influences, we have to allow Christ to influence us. We have to be intentional with our time, at all times. Careful to not allow the influence of culture today suck us down with it.

Let’s explore the ways we are all influenced.

So what are some ways you are influenced? Good or Bad?