God Forbid, I Joined A Church...

I recently told a good friend of mine that I was attending a Baptist church. His first words were, “But they don’t believe so many things.” You have to understand that I am a full fledged charismatic/ Pentecostal born again man. To make matters more interesting for him, I shared that at one of the services, a lady heard me signing during the praise and worship service, and thought that I had an angel’s voice.  It turned out that she was the choir director and lovingly persuaded me to join their choir. By the time I was finished talking to him, he didn't know what to say. See, I was the guy who lifted up his hands during worship, spoke in tongues, and even occasionally ran down the aisle. Get the picture? Reflecting on this friend’s reaction inspired this post.

“And He said to them, go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.” Mark 16:15-16.

When Christ told his disciples to preach the gospel, He never said anything about going to preach to dudes because they will be baptized with the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit. Jesus never said, “ And their denomination shall be called...”. Nowadays, we have segregated ourselves into so many man-made doctrines, and it appears that many of us have forgotten the simplicity of the love story of Jesus Christ.

When I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I did it alone. I heard no voice saying, “Go ye join the Pentecostal, Baptist, Charismatic, Lutheran and so forth movements.” No, I was redeemed, and the angels in heaven threw a party for me. The angels were not concerned about what denomination I would gravitate towards. They were parading and rejoicing about my decision. Let me be very clear that there is nothing wrong with any these man-made doctrines. It boils down to personal preference.

If you look at history, you will find out that many wars were started by Christians factions, not unbelievers. Fighting for power or whose perspective they thought was best to follow.  Nowadays, our wars are more subtle since we have become so civilized and educated. We see even in the church, we have become so politically correct. Some of us are fighting against ourselves all the way to the chapel because of doctrinal ideologies. When we present ourselves before the Lord, He is not going to ask you what doctrine you followed. He is indeed going to ask you, did you know my Son as your Savior.  The enemy does not have to spend any effort here since we have now become his biggest ally.

“There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all, and in you all.” Ephesians 4: 4-6

This is a fact, all “Christian” doctrines point in one direction, Jesus as the only Savior. Our command is to love one another, not to separate ourselves into so many different entities. We are supposed to be One Body.  There really is no time for anything else, but to cheer each other on through the best race there is.

So are you still stuck following 
doctrines and ideologies or Jesus? 
Share in the comments below.

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This is a guest post by Rick Cubas. He is a wild at heart kind of guy who is married to a wonderful woman and is a father to three beautiful little girls. He owns a Farmers Insurance Agency in Houston, TX.  He is a changed and redeemed man, who had an ocean for a backyard as a child and never imagined he’d grow up to become a friend of God. Check out his other posts here!

The Battle for our Desire

Let's not avoid the fact right off the start that the word "desire" is not commonly used in today's culture. But in all honestly the idea needs to be addressed badly.

Let's start things out with a simple game of decision. Imagine standing in front of a table. The table is clear and the man standing beside it has two objects of desire in his hands. On one side of the table he puts down a "Gentleman's Magazine" and on the other side of the table he puts down a Bible. After a few moments, the man asks you to point to your idea of desire. I haven't been able to make a case study of this scenario, but I would think most men would point to the gentlemen's magazine. 

Would we even consider the Bible and its teachings a thing to desire? Culture has brainwashed men to have a certain idea or belief of what desire looks like and it has nothing to do with the Bible. But why would we consider a woman hardly dressed desire? Well, quite frankly, because it's easy. We are simply not in control of what our desire should be in our life. We grab the easily accessible magazine off the rack. We watch the video that the popular guy is showing to everybody. And when we're alone, our self control goes out the door suddenly. We are easily swayed, we know it and we're doing nothing about it. Well gentlemen, it's time to make some changes!

1) STOP!

That's right, stop. Stop falling victim to what the culture says is desire and start asking God what desire is and what it should look like in your life. Stop taking the "easy" route in your life when it comes to the magazines, videos and the people that expose you to those things. Stop thinking you don't have a choice in the matter and choose to make the right decision! Because you always have a choice. 

2) Fill the Gap

So you've stopped? Now you need to come up with a plan; in other words you need to fill the gap. What are you going to do the next time you encounter the dirty magazine, the crude jokes at work or the hot woman walking past you in the store? Don't wait for it to happen, come up with a plan to defeat it! When I was trying to discover the true desire in my life, I decided to read a book titled "Wild at Heart". I hated reading at the time, but I had to fill the gap. I would get out of work early and just sit in my car and read. I would read until I knew I would get home at the same time as my wife. I had to fill the gap, and remove the option.

3) Pray

I don't recall ever saying this process would be easy, but I can assure you it will be beyond fulfilling and life changing. If you were never much for prayer, this would be the time to change that and start praying often. Your desire should be to stop the old habits, to form new Godly habits, and seek God in a whole new way. God is always there to help us and guide us, we just have to give him the opportunity. Make his teachings and his lifestyle your new desire and watch him go to work in your life!

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Your challenge: Read Mathew 5:27-30 

As men, we are all victim to the temptations that the world has to offer. But we have to be stronger and rise above the world and its lies. Share your story or thoughts below of how you overcame false desires and found true desire in Christ! 
Show other men that real change is possible!

Handling the New Man in Christ

Over the past few years, I have had the pleasure of learning more about God and the Christian walk. This journey has taught me many things that are good and bad. From the beginning I knew that if I overloaded myself with information, I would not get anything accomplished or stick to anything. I knew that in order to become a better man, I had to break my old habits.

 The breaking of my old habits was the beginning of my journey with Christ. Where did you start out with Christ? From there it went to desire and influence. A new follower in Christ must break from their old, worldly ways and follow Him. Here are a few tips and ideas that I have learned over the years to make the process go easier. You can share yours in the comments section below.

A) Don't Overload!

• I'm going to buy a devotional, a Bible and a study guide. I'm going to stop listening to all secular music and go to Church three times a week (all of this, all at once!). Now, don't get me wrong, if you can pull all of this off; more power to you. In my experience though, it is best to start with a couple items and move your way up.
• For me, it was reading a chapter of Proverbs and praying for 15 minutes in the morning. The afternoon would require a shorter prayer and quality time with my wife and/ or kids. I also read the book "Wild at Heart" on my lunch breaks. The idea is to not overload yourself or overwhelm yourself; but to form new habits as you break your old ones. Do one page of your devotional a day. Say a prayer in the morning and at night. Be intentional about whatever it is.

B) Stay Organized!

• Once you have chosen a couple things to start doing in your new walk. Stay organized and stay with it. Wake up one hour early every morning. Set aside thirty minutes for prayer every night. Turn off the TV on two specific nights a week or do a devotional with yourself or with your wife. You can make this change easier by setting reminders on your smart phone or hanging notes by your bed or around the house. There are many ways to do it, as long as you're doing it! Pick that one book and finish it before you start another one. Stay organized!

C) Set Goals!

• Now that you know what your going to do and you have an organized plan to attack it, be ready for whats next. By the time I'm getting to the end of a book, I am figuring out what I want to do next. Do I plan to read it again? Is there a second book in the series? Pray and have God help you figure out what to do next, because He will help! After about 30 days, the new habits will be well into your system. You can increase your work load or keep it consistent with your current level. The goal is to just keep going!

D) Let's keep the list going! What has worked for you?

Resource Ready!

Over the recent and long holiday weekend, my wife and I had the pleasure of going back to our home town in Pennsylvania to be with our families. It was a great trip! When we are home we typically go to my wife's family's home Church. After hearing a solid sermon from the lead pastor, I proceeded to get my second cup of coffee. The cafe area was packed with people and I did my best to break through the crowd to get my precious coffee. As I was preparing the mix, I was approached by a man who started asking me about the Manturity blog. He was friends with my wife's family and had heard about it. I believe he also leads small groups for men at their Church. I told him where to find it and to share some thoughts on some of the topics. Towards the end of the conversation, a lady (also getting coffee) overheard us talking and asked excitedly what the blog was about. I told her it was a blog for establishing spiritual maturity in today's man. After saying this she went on to tell me that her husband was currently leaving her and she was going to be left raising their boy on her own. She asked if me if I had any advice or could help her out in any way. Although I was frustrated for a moment that a man was leaving his wife, his boy and the Church; I had to press on quickly to see if I could offer this lady some resources that would be effective and influential. (Can this situation verify that my coffee addiction is ok :) ?

With my wife by my side, I was able to share with her some very fruitful information. I first told her to keep praying for her husband and for her marriage, and don't stop! I then told her about a couple books that she should read. The first was 'Raising a Modern Day Knight' by author Robert Lewis. To be honest, I have never read this book, but it is on my list (especially now that I am having a son). But I have read the reviews, watched the book trailer and have reviewed the author. The second book I mentioned that I have read a couple times is 'The Way of the Wild Heart' or the updated book 'Fathered by God' by author John Eldredge. Both are the same book, but 'Fathered by God' is in paperback and is slightly shorter. I told her that this book describes that path to manhood from Boyhood all the way to the Sage. You can read my review of it here. I told her that these books talk about how a Father should raise a son, but if the Father is not around then the mother must read it. The lady seemed satisfied with the information and I pray that she gets the books and reads them. My wife was also able to confirm what I was telling the lady and even described some of the information to her. I always share what I read and learn with my wife and I can see that she takes it all in. It was great to have her confirm the message and be by my side through this experience. Although the experience went well, I was not completely satisfied.

I went from there asking myself if I was Resource Ready. Am I prepared for what people are going to ask me? Have I done my homework so that I can properly provide answers to those in need or with questions? Do you feel like your resource ready? If you were a man regularly attending church and was approached with something like this or something similar, what would you do? What would you say? This is important! This is part of being a good Disciple! I know we won't always have all the answers, but are we preparing ourselves the best we can? This idea has been on my mind ever since I encountered this. This has affected me enough to start building a new 'resources' page for Manturity; a place that goes through the stages of a man's life and provides resources for people to use. Check it out here! This is just another example of how God speaks to us, but we have to be listening. I heard Him and I'm responding!

Are you Resource Ready?
Share your story if you have ever encountered 

anything like this situation.

God Prepares You

As I start to see more pictures of my son growing and anticipate his arrival into this world early next year, I can't help but think about God and how he prepares us. Personally, I am glad I did not have kids in my early twenties. As 'The Way of the Wild Heart' words it, I was Cowboy/ Warrior and didn't know where life was headed. I was married out of college, bought a house and started a job all around the same time frame. I thought I was ready for anything, but God was the one who finally showed me how to prepare for anything and continues too daily. To be honest, my wife and I had no idea when we wanted to have children. Sure we had discussed, but life was always to busy. Little did I know that the big change God made in me was for something even bigger; a son.

What has God taught me over the last year that will prepare me for my future son?  Discipline.
One of the things Christ showed me was the power of discipline in my life. Saying one thing and living that same thing. I had to dig deep, deeper than I had ever before to become a man and a true son of God. It really started with reading. I had hardly ever read books and really had no interest or patience. What good are they? Well, I buckled down and read 'Wild at Heart'. Read this book if you have not yet. I know I have mentioned the book in many posts, but it is essential to a man's path. It helped show me a new path to walk, why I was doing the same thing my Dad always did and how to break the chains of those who walked before me.

"Start children off on the way they should go,

 and even when they are old they will not turn from it."

-Proverbs 22:6

How can I teach my son to become a man if I was not? From the moment I started reading that first book, God was preparing me for bigger things to come in my life and a whole lot sooner than I expected. With each line he was teaching me for the future and making repairs to my past. He showed me what a man yearns for and desires; the path a man takes through out his life; the true value or measure in a man; and finally a resolve to live up to these points everyday. When I allowed God to truly Father me, he did and so much more. He has given me essential life goals to live by and has now entrusted me with teaching my son to become a true man for God. 

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, 

bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

-Ephesians 6:4

How do I plan to succeed with this mission? The same way I am on a mission for Christ in my life. I have to continue to let him Father me. I have to be able to anticipate what will be coming next for my boy, just as Christ has done for me. I have to teach him, prepare him, pray with and for him, and show him the way. It will truly be the greatest adventure of my life and with Christ as our guide, the mission will get accomplished. Wait, Christ will be our Guide? Another thing I learned and hope to instill in my boy is that Christ is a Father to all of us, both of us. I have to take the lead in this idea and not only make sure that I understand it, but that he understands it. He will start life on a much different path than past generations. I pray he will be the generation that holds a firm faith for the generations to come.

"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. 

For what children are not disciplined by their father?"

-Hebrews 12:7

How has God prepared you in your life?

'The Way of the Wild Heart' Book Review

God is a God of process. One of the best examples of His process is how a boy becomes a man. Author, John Eldredge explores this idea in the fantastic book titled 'The Way of the Wild Heart '. This book is a follow up to the best seller titled 'Wild at Heart '. John breaks down the masculine journey into six stages; boy, cowboy, warrior, lover, king and sage. Each step has is a new and crucial part to the development of a man. One of my favorite quotes comes from early in the book that says this, 'If you want a man, you must begin with the boy'. This statement is so simple, but so very true. The culture today seems to have a bunch of boys in men's bodies. Boys growing up without fathers, fathers that existed only in the physical aspect, and an overall culture that puts men in a lower position than they should be.

Let's take a closer look a the journey. A boy is full of energy and ready to explore. It is a time of true affirmation. It is also a time that he looks to his father and wonders if 'He has what it takes'. From there the boy becomes a cowboy. He has learned a thing or two about life now and takes his game to the next level. He learns to throw a curve ball, drive a car and catch the eye of a young woman. From there he takes on the stage of the warrior. This is when a man finally starts to see his purpose. He may get his college degree, join the military or find the woman of his dreams. He faces the battles of real life, learns discipline and some of the hardships and glories of life. In this time period he also finds the stage of the Lover. This is a time when the warrior is still fully alive, but under more control. He may put a ring on that beautiful woman's finger, he may find a good cause to support or he may take up reading or teaching. These two stages set up the man for one of the most important stages. This is the stage of the King. The time of being a King will be one of the most difficult and most gratifying stages of them all. This is the time of raising a family, coaching a sports team, being on the board at Church and being strong and humble during the process. The King will be tested and challenged thoroughly. And at the end of the stages we get to the Sage. This is not the time to give up on life, but rather a time to minister to the warriors, lovers and especially the Kings. To offer guidance, offer encouragement and remind them of his own path in life. To lead by experience.

This is a very short glimpse of the stages and what they look like. The book goes into great detail and would be a great read for any man or woman. I would highly recommend! You can also check out 'The Way of the Wild Heart' manual that goes along with the book!

What are some ways you have experienced the Masculine Journey?

'Love and War' Book Review

My wife and I have had the pleasure of reading and teaching from a wonderful marriage book titled 'Love and War'. The authors of the book are John and Stasi Eldredge. John is well known for his popular book titled 'Wild at Heart' and for his new book 'Beautiful Outlaw'.

'Love and War' is a very real and down to earth marriage book. The Eldredge's have been married for a long time and have had some hard times over the years. But through it all, they have come away with some great insight for all other marriages. They speak from experience and from the heart in this book.

Right away the book gets into the idea of Desire. In order to have a great marriage or re-gain control of our marriages, we have to have desire, desire to want the best for each other, a desire to always love each other and know that this marriage is for the long haul. The next chapters get into what they like to call the 'perfect storms', this more or less talks about opposites and how they attract. The opposite part in our spouse is a way that God uses the differences in your partner to make your marriage stronger and make you a better person. One of my favorite chapters is titled 'Sharing an Adventure'. It is so important for couples to not just be married partners, but friends. Get out once and awhile, go crazy and take some dancing classes (I think this is coming up on the schedule for us). Schedule a great vacation and be intentional about it. Take a walk once a week together and enjoy the wonderful nature that God has created. This is essential. The Eldredge's bring a very real portrait into the book when they talk about our marriage having an enemy, and it is not our spouse, seriously. Marriage is one of the unions that the Enemy is out to destroy. We see it all over our culture today and it seems to only be getting worse. If we can hear and talk to God, than we have to take the other monologue into play. The enemy will step in at the most opportune times and say definitives like "She is never going to change" or "He will always be like that". Definitives or agreements are marriage killers and we have to protect ourselves and our marriage from those type of words and thoughts.

On top of just having some great material in the book to read about, the Eldredge's have made a few items that go along with the book for small groups at Church or Home. My wife and I have actually facilitated a few group classes on the 'Love and War' material and have had a great response. Here are some easy links to some of the great tools that go along with this powerful book.

- 8 week DVD series  Watch a video each week in your group.

- Love and War Participant's Guide  Use this to stir some great conversation!

- Love and War Devotional for couples  This takes five minutes! It's a great tool for your marriage.

Overall, this is a fantastic book. I would highly recommend reading this book with your spouse. Take the initiative also to see if your Church has the 'Love and War' small group or facilitate a class by yourself or with your spouse!

 

Have you read? I would love to hear your thoughts! 

A Man Like Christ

This year has been nothing short of a process. From struggling with who I was and almost having my marriage fall apart, to realizing the my own black selfishness. I had to go down to the bottom of a deep, dark pit in order the see the pure light of Christ. I know, now, that He put me down in that pit for a reason and that the reasons would reveal themselves over time. Christ showed me a way out of the pit and asked me to walk along with Him and just listen. Over the course of this year, I can look back and see the path He has taken me on. And like Christ, the journey has been anything but ordinary.

We are to be like Christ, but what is it to be like Christ? I didn't realize, at first, that this was the question I have been asking ever since He first took me by my heart. The earlier months of the year went something like this. Desire. I kept hearing the word desire and I had no idea why. But, everyday the word just kept coming and it only got louder. If you have been following Manturity for a little while now you will know about my series on Desire. I came to realize that because I started walking with Christ, I had actually started to 'delight' in Him. (Psalm37:4). I came to realize that life wasn't about my own selfish desires, but rather it was about asking God what I desired. I went from praying 'what do I desire God?' to 'what would You have me desire God?'. That shift made a massive difference in my view on desire. It put desire in perspective and made me less interested in the meaningless things and more interested in the meaningful things. I also began to realize that I wanted to be a true Man of God, or a Man Like Christ.

In continuing my desire to be a man more like Christ, I moved my focus to 'influence'. I really didn't understand this shift at first, but I went with it anyway. I began to think about the ways things influenced my life, behavior, emotions and so on. I wrote about music, friends and work. But God was saying more, He wanted me to take the idea of influence and persuasion further. I didn't understand what He meant by 'further' till more recently. See, Jesus had a style that he did life different than anyone that has ever lived. Jesus never said the "normal" thing and never responded in a general way. He always had a reason behind His motivation. He had a way of making people think and challenged people to do the right thing by their own means. He could be in the toughest of situations where there seemed to be no way out and He would simply surprise everybody. His style of influence is enchanting to say the least.

If I truly desire to be more like Christ, than I need to know his personality. John Eldredge's newest book, Beautiful Outlaw, couldn't come at a better time. This book gets into the wild personality of the risen Christ. I also started reading another book called 'Split Second Persuasion'. This is not a Christian author, but it gets into the origins of persuasion and influence. I am only a few chapters into each book, but they go together in a great way. Lessons from Jesus Christ himself and a hard look at how God designed influence in us since birth.

When I saw the path in the distance, God pointed to the path of desire. And in going down that path I have seen the fruits along the way of making Him my desire. But God demands more of us. As the path of desire is conquered, I can see in the distance the path of influence. The path to the deeper understanding of how to lead and speak like Christ. The path of desire was made of soft grass with only a few hills. But I have already started on the rocky, more rugged path of the personality of Christ. This is what it takes to be a Man Like Christ. To continue to seek more, to continue to work harder no matter the challenge set before you.

Our God is a God of Process.....

'Beautiful Outlaw'

Have you ever considered the personality of Jesus?

Author, John Eldredge, explores this wonderful idea in his new upcoming book titled

 'Beautiful Outlaw'. You might recognize John Eldredge from his popular men's
 book titled 'Wild at Heart'. 'Wild at Heart' started quite the buzz in world of men's ministry about 10 years ago. He has written several books since then that I have read and highly recommend. 

Eldredge said the following about his new book:

 "Reading the Gospels without knowing the personality of Jesus is like watching television with the sound turned off. The result is a dry, two dimensional person doing strange, undecipherable things".

"John Eldredge removes the religious varnish to help readers discover stunning new insights into the humanity of Jesus. He was accused of breaking the law, keeping bad company, heavy drinking. Of being the devil himself. He was so compelling and dangerous they had to kill him. But others loved him passionately. He had a sense of humor. His generosity was scandalous. His anger made enemies tremble. He'd say the most outrageous things. He was definitely not the Jesus of the stained glass". 

This book will help us understand Jesus in a new way and make our relationship with Him more powerful than ever before. Check it out!