A Husband's Eyes

Do not lust in your heart after her beauty 

   or let her captivate you with her eyes.

Proverbs 6:25

Before I was a married man, I did not really worry about my eyes and where they wandered. I wasn't married, so I didn't think it mattered if I looked at other women. I let my eyes move as they please and find what they liked. There are a few problems with this mentality though and I would like to dig into them a little further.

HABITS> Habits are nasty little things that we often do and get real comfortable with. Habits are one of the main topics when it comes to Manturity and truly handing over your life to Christ; and it's for good reason. Before your married men, this is what you do; it's what I did. The world and all of its "pleasures" are certainly of no help to us as we try to break these habits. From the music, to the movies to the people around us; there is no shortage of lustful influence. But you have to stop and think now. YOU'RE MARRIED! You're no longer that single guy with the busy eyes, and you're no longer available. You have to come to terms with this idea, the idea that you have handed over your heart to the woman of your dreams and she is to be your desire along with Christ. She is the one you are to want, to have and to love tirelessly though the good and bad. Nobody put the words of the VOWS in your mouth and forced you to speak them, you said them willingly and now you have to MAN UP and live up to them each and every day. Proverbs 6 is mentioned above and has many other great points though out the chapter. Give it a read and see where the verses fit into your life. Lust is a nasty thing that we men deal with and deal with we must. Re-access your habits, review your influence and check your desire. 

I had to have a major life check after I got married and realized I still struggled with some of these old habits. I had to learn that my eyes were for my wife and my wife only. I am not saying I am perfect at this process, but with the help of Christ and daily reminders, I am able to stay strong and watch myself more carefully. Challenge yourself if you are struggling in this area or know of other men who are and make it a point to defeat the darkness of lust. I have become a better man because of realizing my habits and a better husband to my wife! Explore your heart, ask Christ to show you where you need help and ready your heart for what He has to say. 

But a man who commits adultery has no sense; 

   whoever does so destroys himself.

Proverbs 6:32

A Husband's Role

As a follow up to the latest post 'Marriage Conference Man', I would like to review some key points from the conference with specific regards to the role of the husband. Ephesians 5:22-26 states the following, 'Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.' Verse 33 states 'Let each husband love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.'

I don't know about you, but these are some pretty powerful words! 'Love your wives, as Christ loved the Church?', 'Love your wife as yourself?', 'She is to respect you?'. These are some fairly tough concepts to swallow in today's world, because this is not what the world teaches or promotes. The world promotes relationships and marriage, but not the idea that the man should be a selfless leader and love his wife as HIMSELF. I think most people can agree that they really like themselves.

LOVE is a tough word for some men to get a handle on. Before I got married, I really did not understand love or think it would be that much of an issue. Of course, my wife was probably thinking the same way about respect. I have learned that if I want to be a good husband than I need to learn how to love my wife. This way of loving her could be spending extra time with her during the week, doing things you know that she likes, nurturing her, paying close attention to her and cherishing her. As manly as these things don't sound from reading them, I can tell you from experience that this is what makes your wife and your marriage come alive! These are some of the little things you can do to really show her that you truly and honestly care for her.

SELFLESSNESS is another way you show your wife that you love her. The verse above is pretty specific about 'loving your wife as yourself'. It does not say; love her about 50% of how much you love yourself. I'm pretty sure you love yourself 100% of the time. I would think it safe to say that you would not want to inflict pain on yourself, you would not want people to make fun of you, and you like to be treated like a HUMAN. That's right men; you have to remember that your wife is human, just like you. We make mistakes and your spouse will make mistakes and we have to remember that idea when times are tough. Christ was selfless in all that He did in His time here. He was always worried about the heart of the other person and strove to heal any wounds and hardships. This is the same way we need to be with our wives, we must love her and her heart. We must want the very best for her, as you would want for yourself. In my opinion better!

What are some of the most important 
role's of a husband in marriage?