Marriage Conference Day #1

Tonight was the first part of the marriage conference. The speaker was Dr. Gary Chapman, and the topics were the books 'The Five Love Languages' and 'The Five Languages of Apology'.

I know what your thinking, what is wrong with our marriage that we would need to go to a marriage conference. Well believe it or not, our marriage is stronger than it ever has been and continues to get stronger. But we can all learn new things about ourselves, our spouse, our marriage and God. So, as a couple, we take full advantage of marriage conferences and/or marriage classes.

The first topic of the night was based on 'The Five Love Languages'. The idea with the languages is that we all love in different ways. We mostly learn how to love from our parents. We would watch how they would talk to each other, do things for each other and just spend time together. When we finally find the love of our life, we have to learn the love language of our partner. Now, the first couple years may go great because of our young love. But after that time passes, we need to start to really learn about each other. We need to learn our spouses love language. The languages are these: Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. Discover which of these languages speaks most to your spouse and watch the transformation take place. Gary Chapman did a great job explaining these categories at the conference tonight, and goes into even more detail in the love languages book.

The other topic was 'The Five Languages of Apology'. Just as we grew up into a type of love language, we also grew up learning how to apologize. Apologizing is not the easiest thing to do, but is essential for our marriage to grow. Men must understand this even more as we tend to see apologizing as a sign of weakness. Most men grew up this way watching their Father, or have adjusted to the culture or male stereotype. What we don't realize is that apology is powerful and affective. As a couple we both have say sorry or admit we were wrong sometimes. None of us are perfect and we need to get this apology subject figured out for when we screw up. Notice I did not say 'if' you screw up, but 'when'. Gary Chapman has a book dedicated to learning these apology languages. I enjoyed hearing him speak about them and look forward to reading the book.

Tomorrow is day two of the conference. Check out these books when you get a chance. If you have read one or both of them, leave a comment and your thoughts. Thanks!

More information! http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Beyond Me

I know what your thinking, this term is used mostly when not understanding something or used instead of confusion. But the saying came to me the other day and it had another meaning. It was not related to confusion at all, but more about clarity. When someone says 'beyond me', they are referring to something that is beyond their knowledge or above their understanding. In a sense they are confused in the situation they are in or are currently watching.

This time was different though, it was related to complete understanding. I have begun to realize that in order to not be confused, I have to see beyond myself. In other words, I have to see 'beyond me'. I have to understand that I don't have control over anything and that I can do nothing by myself. Who gave me life, who gave me insight, who showed me love? It wasn't me. I did not reveal these things to myself, but rather they were revealed to me. Before I even saw beyond myself, I was being shown what to do.

Beyond me can be more easily stated as 'selflessness'. The removing of ourselves, our control, our own desires from the equation. We start to give ourselves over to other people or places that are in true need. These people are still using the term 'beyond me', in the way the world has made it popular.
But we must get past the world and go to God. We must go beyond ourselves and discover the path that God would have us take.

We must. We must.

Chaos of our Desires

You may have heard an orchestra tuning up before a concert. It sounds like total chaos-oboes, cello, french horns, dozens of instruments all sounding off, everyone doing his own thing. Trills, groans, whistles, thumps-an absolute cacophany. This is how our desires seem most of the time. But when the first violin plays a long high C, and slowly, all of the instruments begin to join in. They become focused, centered, ready to perform. 

Such is what happens with the chaos of our desires when we turn our souls to God in worship. All of the other desires find their place as we give God his place. This is why the psalmist urges us, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). Only as we truly delight in God is it safe to give us our desires, for then they are not likely to become idols. And by our delighting in God, he heals our false desires as our souls come true in the light of their Maker. Worship becomes the means by which we most deeply heal our desire.

Take from Chapter 10 of the Book 'Desire', by John Eldredge. 

Talking to God

As I have continued to mature in my spiritual walk, I have grown in my style of prayer. When I use to pray, I thought it had to be formal and in solitude. I thought this was the only way to talk to God, and I thought it had to be about only important things. I would pray or think of God when tough situations happen in life.  How often do you see on Facebook or hear from friends that they need prayer for a loved one because they are sick or in the hospital. The next day they are doing or saying things that should not be said or done if someone is praying. How could we expect God to answer a prayer if we never visit him any other time? It would be like asking a “friend” for help all the time and never just hanging out to have fun. Ultimately, there is no relationship built up. Praying to God can be treated like talking to a friend. It doesn’t have to be only in the bad times or when we eat. How about those two examples of bad habits! Praying when something is wrong, or praying God will bless this food to your body. We might as well be wishing our sick ones farewell and have our food wonder why were talking about it. Its all dead space, it goes no where. Praying goes beyond those things and becomes a walking, talking relationship with God.

How do you get an idea or a need across to a friend? You communicate with them! How do we get an idea, thought or idea across to God? You communicate with Him. We have to ask God to help us, we have invite Him into our lives and our situations. God can help us in so many amazing ways, but we have to ask him. This concept is widely misunderstood, I know it was for me. God desires for us to come to Him with our needs and our thanks. And we were made to desire Him!

So Pray!

What Would God Choose?

In order to allow God to choose, you must first ask..

Last week Chelsea , my wife, and I went on vacation for the week. It was a great and wonderful vacation! We stayed at a resort in the mountains, explored the area and had our fifth Wedding Anniversary!

There was something different about this vacation though. Instead of resting from God while we were away, we rested in God. Sometimes we can make our time with God part of our normal habits, to where it almost feels like work. So when we go on vacation, we do not visit Him because it is associated with work.
But what if you find rest in God? What if on vacation, you allow Him to choose where you go and what you do? I really didn't have this concept in mind when we went on vacation, but I knew I did not want to leave God out. So how did He choose for us? We asked or prayed each day that God would show us what He had planned for us and asked what He might have for us do.  Psalms 37:4 says 'Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your Heart.'
So we had a mock schedule for the week, but no definite plans for each day. So we asked God to help show us the path, or show us our desires. I can honestly say that each day was something new! Different adventures and opportunities to relax. Decisions were made easily and we had a great time everywhere we went.
God will truly show you the desires of your heart, if you ask with an honest heart. God provided us with amazing accommodations, quality time together and a place to find rest in Him.

My challenge would be for you to do the same. This does not have to just be on vacation either, it could be each day. But if you do find yourself on vacation, invite God into your time and see what amazing things just might be in store for you!

'The True Measure of a Man'

I recently completed reading a book titled, 'The True Measure of a Man'. The author of the book is Richard E. Simmons III. I had found out about this book when reading reviews for a book titled 'Wild at Heart.' This is in fact another great read that I will review another time. This was a great book and is a must read for every man! Many of the recent posts on the 'Manturity' Facebook Page have been quotes from the book. The book explores the many issues that men go through in today's world. Chapters talk about a man's identity, a man's courage and a man's truth. How men compare themselves to other men and are never content with what they have or with their current status. If men are never happy with their current situation, then they will never be content. The book has many other books incorporated into it and there is a list of them all at the end. The book is only 132 pages, it is not overwhelming or huge. Do yourself a favor and take some time to read this book. If you have read it, leave a comment below or on the Facebook page. Thanks!


Other Reviews:

"This book is for every man of every faith or no faith at all. He'll learn why he doesn't have to live with the guilt, insecurity, and fear that most men experience but often pretend they don't." Fred Barnes

"This book provides answers to men's deepest questions and helps them understand what they are feeling as they go through the storms of life. He points us to a life of contentment that can only be found in the Lord. I believe every man should read this book." Pat Sullivan

Among The Living

As I sat in a graveyard the other day, I had the following thoughts....

As I sit among the dead, I can't help but think of the living. You wonder what their life was like, but you also wonder if they found the life they hoped for? What was the life they hoped for? What was the life they lived? We sit together now, but in different realms and in a different time. I know my fate is the same upon which I sit, but is that a bad thing? There's no fighting against death, but there is the life we have to fight for after death. The opportunity for who I sit among is gone, but mine is still alive and well. I live those opportunities everyday. The choices I make, the people I meet and love, the thoughts that stream through my mind. I know the end will come, but I want to be ready! I want to live, so that I may not die, but live more abundantly!