Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Learning to Cope


My wife and I had just started going to a new Church. We had just got married and moved to a new place in a different state. We had gone to about three churches up to the point, but we really hadn't found 'the one' yet. One Saturday morning, we literally looked online at all the nearby churches and one popped up that we liked. The next day we threw on our church clothes and we were off to a new place. God always has a great plan for you if you are willing to let him work. We sat down near the back and low and behold another young couple sat right behind us. (coincidence? I think not) After the service ended the couple introduced themselves to us and invited us to a marriage class with other young couples from the church. We said yes to the friends, to the class and to the church. This story introduces the friend that taught me how to cope, but I taught him first...

About a month after meeting these and other friends at this new church, my new buddy from that first day gave me a call to see if I could assist him with some work at their house. I had told him earlier that I was a carpenter by trade and he used it for his benefit, which was fine for my wife and me since we had no friends yet. It was later in the night, maybe 6 o'clock, but I grabbed my tools and we jumped in the car. I arrived at his house to find him working on some trim in a small room. He pointed out that no matter what he did, he could not figure out how to get the trim installed and fit together properly. The trim was actually crown molding, so I can understand the difficulty if not worked with before. I proceeded to tell him that the molding had been installed....upside down. His head dropped and I smiled. We had a good laugh about it and started to remove what was up so that it could be redone. I showed him how to properly install crown and also showed him how to COPE the ends so that they would have a nice clean fit in the corners. A cope in trim work is interesting, because you have to cut away the one piece so that it will fit perfectly over the other piece. They work great together.

So far you know about our church and a guy that I taught how to cope wood..

Well, a few years had passed since that wondrous night of trim coping magic. My wife and I still went to that same church, but our marriage had deteriorated immensely. No fault to the church though; we would go there and put on the church smile and attitude. We would talk the talk, but had drifted far from the walk. It got down to a point where I had had enough and finally wanted out of my marriage. I wanted nothing to do with it anymore; I wanted out. Well, this is where the coping skills come into play, no, not the ones that require a saw and a file, but true friendship. Cope means to, face and deal with responsibilities and problems in a calm manner. This is where my friend taught me how to cope. He taught me to look at the bigger picture in my life. What was I not doing? What was my walk with God like? Where was I putting my faith? It certainly wasn't in Christ and it was easy to tell by looking at my life. He was willing to sacrifice his time, he was willing to show me how my life was upside down and he showed me how to use a file on all my rough edges. He showed me how my marriage could be great, if my relationship with God was real and true. Although the molding may have ridges and valleys, you can still learn to cut the perfect cope. God truly works in wonderful ways. He knows the language that we speak and he uses it to speak right to us, even if we don't think we're listening.....

Christ taught him how to cope. I taught him how to 'cope'. He taught me to cope.

You may never know why Christ takes you down a certain paths,
But you can believe that it's for a bigger reason.

I'd love to hear your similar stories!

7 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing this wonderful testimony of God's grace in your life and marriage. After 36+ years of marriage, my husband and I love and respect each other more than ever before. We ask each other every night before we go to bed if there is anything either of us needs to apologize for, and it can't be anything that happened over 24 hours earlier. If there is something, we ask for forgiveness from our spouse and receive forgiveness. Then we pray together, including prayer for our spouse. It's hard to stay annoyed at your spouse when he/she is praying for you and thanking God for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow! What great points and a great example for marriage. Letting things go on too long, will only make things worse all around. Prayer is powerful, and your marriage is proof of that. Thank you!

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Thank you brother! God's grace never ceases to amaze me.

      Delete
  3. What a great post about mentoring and shaping a life with the power of friendship and character. This is what the church is to be about. Good job. And thanks for the recent visit to Family Fountain. My writing and visiting around is way down as I've had some new things enter my schedule. I miss it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Warren, thanks for the visit and comment. God truly does have his way of shaping our lives. Hope you continue to do well!

      Delete
  4. Good read sir. Makes me think back to the struggles my wife and I had. Holding onto Christ is what got us through.

    ReplyDelete