False Desires

I recently read an awesome book titled ‘Desire’, by author John Elderidge. The book is about the journey we must take to find our true desire. The next few blog posts are a small view inside the journey of desire from my perspective.

What would the average man say if you asked him what he desired? A few ideas might be sports, like football or golf. Maybe he would say ‘women’ and give you a full download of what he means and why. Maybe he would say success.  Maybe he would give you a blank look and wonder what in the world you were asking.

But, I wonder what the same man would say if you asked him ‘Are you happy?’ I imagine you would get a strange look, a rude comment or an obvious fake answer. If the word desire is in question, then the word happy has even less meaning.

The two of these questions go hand in hand with each other. The reason men are not happy, is because they are looking for desire in all the wrong places. Men spend their days at work hoping to rise in the food chain. Maybe working two jobs to try to get that “dream” house and affirmation. Men wrap themselves up in sports for weekends on end. Men go from woman to woman looking for that perfect one. They tell stories of their exterior beauty, and then say they got rid of her because she was crazy. These false desires or bad attempts at intimacy go round and round and round. The ‘desires’ are chased until they have lost their luster. Like young love, the initial tingle is gone and you move on to the next thing. The next “big” thing has the same results and you start to wonder about life and if there is even a purpose. Happiness becomes a lost word you hear once in a while from a stranger. The word itself is a stranger.

These false desire are merely addictions, and the Bible referes to them as 'adulterous'. They keep us from knowing our true desires. They keep us from knowing God.

So what are we to desire? How do we find it and make an attempt to understand it?

In the coming posts, we will discuss how to take Desire to the next level.

Please feel free to comment below and add your thoughts.

Marriage Conference Day #2

This morning was the second day of Dr. Gary Chapman's marriage conference at the West End Assembly of God, in Richmond, Va. Yesterday he talked about 'The Five Love Languages' and the 'Five Languages of Apology'.

Todays critical marriage information was based out of his book 'The Marriage You've Always Wanted'. The main topic of the book is focused toward communication in our marriage. Communication is a necessity for a great marriage! Since we know ourself better than anyone else, we have to communicate what we like and don't like to our spouse.

Communication has to be a two way street in a marriage. This means a few things. We must be able to talk comfortably with each other. We must be able to clearly express what we are trying to say. And we must listen when the other person is talking. Are you listening yet? :) Sometimes its even a great idea to express your thoughts and have the other person paraphrase those thoughts back to you. This way you know your getting the right message across. Assuming is never a good idea.

We also discussed the topic of sex. Sex was created by God, and He even said it was very good. Notice that all the other days were good, but the day that male and female were created were really good. The culture has really taken its toll on this topic, but the Bible is very clear on the specifics of sex. Overall marriages need to keep a positive attitude on sex and keep the lines of communication open in this area. This should be an incentive to read the paragraph on communication again. Still listening?

Finally, we need to realize that marriage is a ministry. As Christ came to serve, so we need to serve. And we need to serve our spouse. The conference and the book go into a lot more detail on these subjects and many more. The experience was great and I would recommend this conference or any other marriage conference to married couples. Love accepts many imperfections. Thoughts?

Check out more information on Dr. Gary Chapman and his ministries.
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/